Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's world, food is a very important part of human's life. Some people believe that manufactured produts very harmful of people's health. I agree with this statement and discuss viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, some people too much eat manufactured food which contains high levels of sugar because they like it. High level sugar caues many health related problems. Moreover, sugary products should be made more expensive which people do not by these products abd it is very helpful for people's life. However, spme people argue that the sugar products is do not made in company's.

On the other hand, government also create awaerness among young people about the harmful effects of manufactured food and drinks. I have noticed that people do not eat high level sugar they enjoy their healthy life. Some people do not buy sugary products.

In conclusion, it is very important to people have healthy food. Multitudes do not buy sugary products. The

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I agree”—and refer to the central issue of sugar, health problems, and making sugary products more expensive. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain in a developed way why higher prices would reduce consumption or give a relevant example. The point that government should create awareness is relevant, but it is not clearly connected to your agreement about price increases. The claim that some people argue sugary products “is do not made in company's” is difficult to understand and does not support a clear opposing view. The response is also below the required 250 words. Develop two relevant reasons, explain each, and support them with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To commence with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” show an awareness of paragraph structure. However, ideas are not arranged coherently: the first body paragraph moves from people liking sugary food to price increases and then to an unclear claim about companies, while the second shifts to awareness without explaining how it relates to the main position. Connections between sentences are often missing or unclear, and the conclusion repeats that people do not buy sugary products rather than summarising a reasoned argument. Use one clear main idea per paragraph and explain the link between each supporting point and your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes relevant topic words and phrases such as “manufactured food,” “high levels of sugar,” “health related problems,” and “harmful effects.” These help the reader identify the subject, but the range is basic and several expressions are inaccurate or difficult to understand. Examples include “manufactured produts very harmful,” “high level sugar,” and “people do not by these products”; spelling errors such as “caues,” “spme,” and “awaerness” also reduce clarity. Some wording is repetitive, particularly the repeated references to sugary products and people not buying them. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “processed foods,” “excessive sugar consumption,” and “reduce demand” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “Moreover, sugary products should be made more expensive…” and “I have noticed that people do not eat high level sugar…” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Examples include missing or incorrect verb forms in “Some people believe that manufactured produts very harmful,” the awkward construction “some people too much eat,” and the agreement and verb-form problems in “the sugar products is do not made.” Articles, plurals, and sentence patterns also need attention, as in “human's life” and “it is very important to people have healthy food.” Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences, then check agreement and verb forms. Use a few accurate complex sentences rather than attempting structures you cannot yet control.

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