Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Most processing foods and drinks obtain high levels of sugar,which lead to several health issues.Sugary products must be made much high cost to encourage individuals to consume minimum sugar.

I partially agree with this statement, there less benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, sugar products made more expensive so that people should try to eat less sweet dishes owing to avoid health problems.There are numerous adults who suffer from many diseases such as obesity, blood prssure and sugar level. In addition, mostly teenagers faces many teeth issues due to eat more sweet dishes.

For instance, if a child eat less sugar contain things like chocolates and cakes. This would be really beneficial for her health and he does not suffer many health challenges. As a result, cost of saving also increase and those rupees theywill be spent on their academic purpose.

On the other hand, mostly people like to eat sweet dishes such as kheer especially on weddings and festivals like Eid. If the cost of sugary products would be increase they might try to eat more because of their satisfaction level and for their inner happiness.

In conclusion, sugar products should be more expensive so that everone should try to avoid these products.As a result, people have more longer life that also provide happiness to their families.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic and give a position, but “I partially agree” is not clearly explained: the essay first supports higher prices, then suggests people may buy more for satisfaction, without resolving this tension. The health effects and the example about a child avoiding sweets are relevant, but they remain general and are not developed with clear explanation or evidence. The claim that families would save money for education is also introduced briefly rather than connected fully to the argument. The response is 30 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasons. To strengthen the response, explain how price changes might affect different consumers and make your final position consistent with the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic essay structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the overall progression is not always clear: the first body paragraph moves from health problems to a child’s health and then to education costs, while the second presents a counterpoint without explaining how it relates to your partial agreement. Some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, and references such as “those rupees” are not clearly connected to the preceding point. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, explain the link between sentences, and use transitions to show how the counterargument affects your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a limited but relevant set of topic vocabulary, including “high levels of sugar,” “health issues,” “obesity,” and “teeth issues,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, noticeable word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “processing foods,” “much high cost,” “sugar contain things,” and “cost of saving.” “Blood prssure” and “everone” also contain spelling errors. Several phrases are repeated, particularly “sweet dishes” and “sugar products,” which restricts the range. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing pricing and health, and check whether each phrase is a natural English collocation before using it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if a child eat less sugar…” and a result clause introduced by “As a result.” However, the range is limited, and complex structures are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms include “teenagers faces,” “a child eat,” and “would be increase.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic, as in “there less benefits outweigh the drawbacks.” Punctuation and spacing errors, such as missing spaces after commas and the run-together “theywill,” further interrupt reading. Practise forming accurate conditional sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb patterns. More reliable control of these basics will make your ideas easier to understand.

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