Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is undeniable that process foods and drinks are made with high levels of sugar which causing numerous health issues to mankind. In order to motivate citizens some suggested that the price of sugary goods need to be high so that people consume suger at a lower rate. Though encouraging less intake of sugar is beneficial for human as it comes with health benefits, in contrast, I believe, rise at price of sugary products can be harmful for individuals and businesses.
In food business, suger is one of the crucial ingredients which is necessary for almost all types of desserts and drinks. One prominent reason could be for not making it expensive, the business will be at loss which will have worse consequences in the economy of one's country as well as individuals who run the business. If business falls in certain cases which will show decline in country's economical growth. Meanwhile, the business owners will met with uncountable debts. For example, small-scale homemade bakery businesses are increasing at a noticeable rate, in this case, high price of sugary products will force them to discontinue their business. For this, putting excessive price on sugary products will create difficulties to individuals and busineeses as well as it is harmful for economical growth.
In addition to the disagreement, high price of sugray goods does not ensure people will consume less sugar, while it can work if they are aware about the consequences of health. For instance, in Bangladesh, people mostly love tea with sugar for relaxation, they buy sugar at any price, even though the price is high, they donot seem concerned about this matter.
I believe, sugary products excessive will cause destruction to economy of one's country, meanwhile, it will create problems to personnel and business owners. In my opinion, government and conscious people can create awareness among people so that they spare the habit of intaking sugar. Also, the awareness campaign can help business owners to find alternative so that the business should not be collapsed.
Summing up, I would like to reiterate that creating awareness among can encourage individulas to reduce the intake of sugar and the authorities should not focus on rising the price of sugary products.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive and favour awareness campaigns instead. You address both the proposed price increase and whether it would reduce consumption, and the Bangladesh tea example is relevant support for the latter point. However, the economic argument is less fully established: the claim that higher prices would cause businesses to fail and harm national growth needs clearer explanation, since higher prices do not necessarily mean businesses themselves pay more for sugar. The bakery example helps, but its connection to the policy could be made more precise. Develop the health and consumer-choice aspects as well, so the response answers the issue more fully and supports each main reason with a clear chain of reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can follow your overall disagreement. You also use linking expressions such as “In addition” and “Summing up” to signal stages in the argument. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “In addition to the disagreement” does not clearly introduce the point that higher prices may fail to change habits, while “For this” leaves the relationship between the example and the claim imprecise. Some references, such as “this matter” and “it,” are also vague. Use more direct topic sentences and make each example’s link to its claim explicit; this would create smoother progression between ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “health issues,” “small-scale,” “consequences” and “awareness campaign,” and the main message is generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of broad terms such as “business,” “people” and “problems,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to interpret. Examples include “process foods” for processed foods, “suger/sugray” for sugar, “economical growth” for economic growth, and “spare the habit” where you mean break or change a habit. Spelling errors such as “busineeses” and “individulas” also reduce precision. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Though encouraging less intake of sugar is beneficial…” and a conditional example beginning “If business falls…”. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the response and sometimes make relationships unclear. For instance, “which causing numerous health issues” needs a finite verb, and “the business owners will met” has an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “If business falls” is not completed as a conditional structure, while “high price of sugary products will force them” needs an article or plural form. Work on building complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and using consistent verb forms. More accurate complex sentences would improve clarity.
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