Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this contemporary world, it is irrefutable that numberous food and beverages products consist excessive levels of sugar, which leads several health problems. Thus, sugary products should be made more expensive to stimulate individuals to use less sugar. I strongly agree with this statements because it may be helpful for young generation. I will elaborate my point of views in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reason and appropriate examples.

First and foremost, i believe that the public are consuming a large amount of sugary items throughout the world. Moreover, it should be reduced over time, therefore, sugary items are associated with heart disease which leads to several types of serious issues in body. Items such as Gulab jamun, Chocolate, ice cream and coffee, tea may be cause a serious problem in the long run. Initially, it provides satisfaction, however, excessive use of sugary items can negatively affects mental health also. For instance, i have seen several people who consume a large amount of sugary items during occasions such as Diwali, Ganesh chaturathi , and Navratri which may create major problems.

In addition, There are several types of diseases such as Diabetes , cholesterol, and Heart-attacks , every thing is associated with sugary items. in contrasts, Authorities should Address this problems to prevent sugary items. there must be striker laws that after purchasing 500 of sugary items every one should pay double amount of the products.

However, it can not overlooked, young generation are addicted of sugary items and they have been consuming sugary items since they were littel boy, thus it should be not stopped . For instance, during birthday party and anniversary party they items create job and peace.

To conclude, i firmly agree with the given statements, mainly because of it long-term drawbacks, and it is a one type of poison which can gradually harm whole body.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you strongly agree that sugary products should cost more. You also give relevant health-related reasons, including heart disease and diabetes, and refer to familiar foods and celebrations. However, the response only partly develops the central proposal. The claim that higher prices would reduce consumption is asserted rather than explained, and the suggestion that buyers should pay double after purchasing 500 items is unclear and not convincingly connected to the problem. The paragraph about young people being addicted and sugary foods creating “job and peace” introduces a counterpoint but does not resolve it. Develop fewer ideas with clearer explanations and relevant examples, and address the opposing view directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, several body paragraphs and a conclusion, so there is some basic organisation. The main position is also repeated at the end. However, progression between ideas is often unclear: the paragraph beginning “In addition” shifts abruptly from diseases to a proposed law, while “However” introduces a counterargument that is not fully explained. Linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Moreover,” and “In contrasts” are sometimes mechanical or do not show the relationship between the ideas accurately. Some sentences also contain unclear references, such as “it should be reduced over time.” Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use linking words only when their meaning fits.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “excessive levels of sugar,” “heart disease,” “long-term drawbacks,” and “consume,” and the examples of foods and festivals make the response specific. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or awkward choices make parts difficult to understand. Phrases such as “use less sugar,” “every thing is associated with sugary items,” and “they items create job and peace” do not express the intended meaning clearly. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “numberous,” “littel,” and “chaturathi.” Aim for precise collocations and check spelling; for example, explain that higher prices may “discourage consumption” rather than simply saying products should be “made more expensive.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You try to use both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “because,” and “however.” Nevertheless, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “products consist excessive levels,” “which leads several health problems,” and “excessive use … can negatively affects,” where verb patterns or agreement are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: “in contrasts, Authorities…” begins with an incorrectly formed transition and an unnecessary capital, while commas and spaces around punctuation are inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles and verb forms, then proofread each sentence for a complete, clearly punctuated structure.

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