Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Manufacturers produces foods and drinks that contains enormous amount of sugar, causing health problems to people. People suggested that these products must be sold in a higher value to encourage others to consume less sugar. As someone who is addicted to sugar, I highly agree to this statement to prevent further health damage.

As a registered nurse, sugary products are like drugs. They can be very addicting. Anything that is consumed in high levels are deadly. Moreover, cases of diabetes are increasing each year. Treatment for diabetes is a lifelong therapy which includes taking a lot of medications for the rest of your life to maintain the normal amount of glucose in your body, because your body cannot do this on its own anymore. But, fortunately this can be prevented by consuming the standard amount of sugar or by decreasing the sugar intake we eat everyday.

In contrary, businesses would disagree with this suggestion because they produce the sugary products. But, they were able to adjust with the situation. They helped by decreasing consumers sugar intake. Some companies offers zero sugar drinks which they say are much healthier. In addition, some would use sparkling water that contains no sugar, just to feel the fizz. Some bakers also added zero-sugar pastries in their menu to adjust.

To conclude, sugary foods and drinks are highly addictive. These can lead to health damage in our body that requires lifelong treatment. In order to consume less sugar, I highly agree to sell these products at much expensive state. Although businesses may not agree with this, adjusting in today's society will allow them to fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that higher prices could reduce sugar consumption, and the conclusion returns to this view. You also give relevant support, including your nursing perspective and the possible long-term treatment burden of diabetes. This addresses the task well, but the argument is not developed evenly. The health consequences are explained in some detail, whereas the central claim that making products more expensive will change purchasing habits is mostly asserted rather than demonstrated. The paragraph on businesses describes zero-sugar alternatives, but does not clearly explain how these examples support the proposed price increase. To strengthen the response, explain the likely effect of higher prices on consumers and support that reasoning with a specific example or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting health and business-related points, and a conclusion. The main ideas are generally easy to follow, and transitions such as “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “To conclude” help signal progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “In contrary” introduces a contrast, but the following sentences shift from businesses’ likely disagreement to examples of companies offering alternatives without fully explaining the relationship. The reference in “They helped by decreasing consumers sugar intake” is also unclear: it is not evident who “they” refers to or how the companies achieve this. Build clearer links between each example and your position, and use pronouns only when their reference is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “addicted,” “lifelong therapy,” “diabetes,” “glucose,” and “sugar intake,” and your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “sparkling water” and “zero-sugar pastries.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “sold in a higher value,” “much expensive state,” and “health damage” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Repetition of “sugar” and “sugary products” also narrows the range. Aim to use more precise phrases for pricing and health effects, and check whether words commonly occur together in English. This would make the argument sound more fluent and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “Treatment for diabetes is a lifelong therapy which includes…” and a conditional structure in “Although businesses may not agree with this…”. The overall meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Manufacturers produces” and “some companies offers” have subject–verb agreement errors, while “foods and drinks that contains” also has an agreement problem. In “Anything that is consumed in high levels are deadly,” the subject and verb do not agree. There are also issues with articles and sentence construction, such as “at much expensive state.” Review agreement with singular and plural subjects, and check each sentence for a complete, correctly formed structure. Greater accuracy would make your varied sentences more effective.

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