Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the recent time, many manufactured food and drink product contain high propotion of sugar, which may cause health problems. Therefore, sugary products should be made more costly so that people consume less sugar. I strongly agree with this view because if people want better lifestyle with healthy body than they should aviod sugary products.

Firstly, sugar products are very harmful of human body, which may reduce the bone density due to that people are taking medicine. Similarly, at the young age people had to face knee pain and losing eye vision, these are the main disadvantage of sugar. Although, sugar product gets in very reasonable price because of that people are buying oftenly. For instance, children are consuming packet snacks like biscuts, cold drinks, and chocolates which is damaging our healthy life, for that children should suffer from cold and cough. Moreover, sugar is not only providing good taste in food, but also it may cause obesity, if it contain eccessive amount.

Secondly, there are many youth who maintain their body and made daily meal chart, so that they can aviod sugar as much as possible. Furthermore, older people have tea addicition, they consume very frequently in a day because of that they are taking blood pressure and diabetic tablets. For example, if people are very healthy concusion for them it is easy to stop containing sweet items, also they can control them self. On the other hand, human body need some level of sugar to balance our body for that if they eat that much amount than it is good of health.

In conclusion, many maufactured food and drink product contained high level of sugar, which cause health problem, whereas sugary product should be expensive so people will aviod that item. I strongly believe that childrens are very oftensive about sweet food and because of that they should suffer from health issue like, diabetic, obesity and many more. Therefore, it the one specific ingredients is harmful for body then govenment should band that product in ready made item, they should start serving as extra, so those who want to add they may. Due to this the production of sugar product will may gradually decrease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you strongly support making sugary products more expensive. You also give relevant points about health effects and children’s consumption, with examples such as snacks, soft drinks and chocolates. However, the response only partly develops the central proposal. Much of the discussion explains why sugar can be harmful, rather than showing how higher prices would reduce consumption or why this measure would be effective. The point that the body needs some sugar is relevant, but its relationship to your position is not fully explained. To strengthen the response, develop two main reasons with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning and explain how price increases might influence consumers, while acknowledging a possible limitation such as affordability or access to healthier alternatives.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help identify the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from bone density to children’s snacks and obesity without clearly connecting each point to the proposed price increase. Some linking phrases are repetitive or do not express the intended relationship clearly, as in “for that” and “because of that.” The second paragraph also shifts between young people’s meal plans, older people’s tea habits and the body’s need for sugar. Group related ideas together, use clearer references, and make each paragraph build one central argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “bone density,” “obesity,” “blood pressure” and “diabetic,” and you attempt to express a range of health-related ideas. However, the usable range is limited, and frequent spelling, word-form and collocation errors sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “propotion,” “aviod,” “oftenly,” “tea addicition” and “healthy concusion.” Phrases such as “sugar products” and “suffer from cold and cough” are also imprecise or unnatural in context. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases, such as “sugar-sweetened products,” “reduce consumption” and “increase the risk of health problems.” Check spelling and choose words that express the intended meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because,” “which” and “if.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction can make some claims hard to interpret. For example, “many manufactured food and drink product contain” has a plural agreement problem, while “if people want better lifestyle with healthy body than they should” is not formed correctly. The sentence beginning “For example, if people are very healthy…” is also difficult to follow because its clauses do not connect clearly. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and shorter sentences first, then combine ideas using one clear subordinate clause. Review punctuation and avoid joining several claims into one sentence.

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