Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent years lot of manufactured food and drink items contain large amount of sugar , which cause many health problems . sugary products should be manufactured more expensive to encourage people to bought less sugar . However this esay will discuss the the main solution , and i agree the prices of sugary products was too high all of these markets , and the result of this sugary products people comsume less amount and they safe their health .

First and foremost ,I agree this concept the maount of sugar in all items are high ,and they make lot of diseases , and many people face a lot of problems .when the amount of sugar produts is to low and many people like and bought , but the main porblem in case of when they eat sugary products , for example , cake , biscuit , icecream ,etc and when the level of sugar products are too high and they creat issues.

Nor or neither when the price of sugar products is high , and the use of sugar less in all of these item , and few item bought the main solution of this concept many people saving his life and less used . As well as when the use of less and many people save money and life when they use not and they do not go to hospital as a result they save money.

In order to recapitulate , in my opinion sugary products creat lot of problems for all humans . At the end in my country the products of sugar is totaly band and people not bought .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position in the opening, saying “i agree” that sugary products should cost more, and you return to the health concern in the conclusion. This gives the response a relevant central idea. However, the argument is only minimally developed: the examples of cake, biscuits and ice cream identify sugary foods but do not explain how higher prices would reduce consumption or improve health. The claim that products are “totally banned” in your country is also unclear and does not support the proposed price increase. The response therefore addresses the topic, but its reasons and examples are limited, and the position is not consistently explained. Develop two clear reasons and support each with a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the discussion. Some linking expressions, including “First and foremost,” “As well as” and “In order to recapitulate,” signal stages in the essay. However, the ideas within paragraphs are difficult to follow, and the overall progression is weak. For example, the second paragraph shifts between sugar levels, diseases and examples of foods without showing how these points connect. Phrases such as “Nor or neither” do not establish a clear relationship between ideas, while repeated references to “sugar products” make the writing repetitive. Use one main point per paragraph, explain it in a logical sequence, and choose linking words that accurately show contrast, cause or result.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “manufactured food and drink,” “health problems,” “diseases” and “hospital.” These choices help identify the subject of the essay. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “sugar products,” “people” and “problems” used repeatedly. Several word choices or combinations are unclear, including “the main solution,” “save their life” and “the products of sugar is totally band,” which make parts of the argument hard to understand. Spelling errors such as “esay,” “comsume” and “porblem” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling; for example, distinguish “sugary products” from “sugar” and use phrases such as “reduce consumption” and “health risks.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use clauses with “when,” “and” and “as a result,” showing some effort to connect ideas grammatically. However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and frequent errors sometimes distort meaning. For instance, “sugary products should be manufactured more expensive” has an incorrect construction, while “people to bought less sugar” uses the wrong verb form. Subject–verb agreement and tense are also inconsistent in “the amount of sugar … are high” and “the prices … was too high.” Missing or misplaced punctuation, including spaces before commas and full stops, further affects readability. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed clauses and consistent verb tenses.

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