Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argued that many manufactured food and drinks contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. All kinds of sugary products should be made more expensive so that people consume less sugar. I completely agree with this development because this can reduce sugar consumption and also increase health awareness.

Firstly, excessive sugar consumption can cause many heath problems. Overuse of sugar can cause obesity, diabetes and also results in teeth problems among children. For example, the daily use of soft drinks, sugar in tea lead to obesity. Obesity also leads to many other health problems i.e. stress. People also face criticism due to their body shape. Whereas, excessive use of sugary products also cause diabetes and children who eat a lot of chocolates and candies suffer from teeth problems. Thus, by increasing the prices of these products will lessen the use of sugar and people will stay healthy.

On the other hand, if the prices of cold drinks, chocolates and other sugary products will increase, people may buy fewer sugary products. This encourage them to eat healthy and choose water over soft drinks. People will prefer healthy food instead of sugary products i.e. brownies, chocolates and other sugary snacks. It may also encourage people to develop healthier habits. Hence, the increase in prices of sweet products may discourage the consumption of sugar which also incraese the health awareness.

To sum up, I strongly believe that sugary products should be made more expensive because it may reduce sugar consumption also also raise health awareness and this step will bring positive changes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction (“I completely agree”) and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both the health risks of sugar and the proposed price increase, with relevant examples such as obesity, diabetes, and children’s dental problems. The response also explains that higher prices may encourage people to choose water and healthier food. These points meet the task well, but some are asserted rather than fully developed: for instance, the link between criticism about body shape and the effectiveness of higher prices is not explained. To strengthen the response further, develop the reasoning with a specific example or explain how price changes could affect different consumers. The required length is met; 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting related reasons, and a concluding summary. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” make the stages easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and “On the other hand” suggests a contrast even though the second body paragraph continues to support your agreement. Some links between ideas are also abrupt, such as moving from obesity to social criticism and then to diabetes. The repeated references to reducing sugar and raising health awareness make the progression feel circular. Use transitions that show addition or consequence accurately, and connect each example more explicitly to the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “excessive sugar consumption,” “health problems,” “obesity,” and “healthier habits.” These terms communicate your main ideas, but the range is somewhat repetitive: “sugary products,” “sugar,” and “health awareness” recur frequently, and several combinations are not natural or precise. For example, “daily use of soft drinks” and “increase the health awareness” could be expressed more idiomatically. There are also spelling errors, including “heath” and “incraese,” which reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations during revision; this would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, and most of the argument remains understandable. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction persist. For example, “This encourage them” needs subject–verb agreement, while “if the prices … will increase” uses an unsuitable conditional form; “if prices increase, people may buy fewer” is more accurate. In “Overuse of sugar can cause obesity, diabetes and also results,” the verb forms are not parallel. The sentence beginning “For example, the daily use…” is also incomplete as written. Practise accurate conditional patterns, parallel structures, and complete sentence construction, then proofread for agreement and punctuation. Greater control of these forms would make your reasoning smoother.

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