Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The health issues resulting from the uptake of processed food and drink item has become a growing concern. Many people believe that level of sugar content in these products leads to cause severe health problems and they demand the price rise in sugar containing items to reduce it's consumption.

Although, there are number of severe diseases that are caused by sugar but I completely disagree with the price hike strategy.

With a doubt, a suagr consumption is the root cause of the plenty of the health issues. The synthetic sugary ingredients in food products such as fructose and glucose effects physical health leading to fetal diseases. For example, obesity is predominantly caused by sugar update. The obesity eventually ends up with heart attacks (most common). Furthermore, the genetical patterns are also modified through its consumption. The dibates type two is a genetical problem transferred from parents to children. In these patients, insulin production is inhibited and they cannot take a sugar amount greater than defined ones.

However, many people believe that increasing prices should encouge people to reduce sugar intake. This is just a single potential solution in the pool of multiple possible solutions, which only leads to price fluctuations and can also cause outrages among manufacturers. Prices increase can not stop the ones who are already addicted to the flavours. There must be needs of developing self-control habits to reduce consumption and cravings. For example, as we know that the pictures and ads of products are so mouth watering, and these can be resisted only through strong will power.

Moreover, government should design a proper framework for quality and quantity assurance and fines must be imposed for voilation. Additionally, parental and educational roles will be very significant in this matter. There is need of awaraness regarding the after effects of such consumptions at institutional levels, also the parents must check and balance such practices.

In conclusion, despite the fact that these sugary products cause health issues but prices elevation is not long term and sound solution. The self determination and integrated roles of government, institutions and parents can reduce their consumption.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and you address both the health risks and alternative measures. The discussion of obesity and the roles of government, schools and parents is relevant, while the example of resisting appealing advertising helps illustrate your argument. This meets the task well overall. However, some points are not fully developed or are unclear: the claim that sugar modifies genetic patterns and the description of type 2 diabetes need more accurate explanation and support. Your case against price increases would also be stronger if you explained more directly why higher prices would be ineffective, rather than asserting that they cause price fluctuations or manufacturer outrage. More precise support would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, the body paragraphs present health effects and alternatives, and the conclusion restates your view. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “Moreover” help signal shifts between ideas. This gives the essay a coherent progression. At times, though, connections feel mechanical or the relationship between claims is not fully clear. For example, the move from obesity to “genetical patterns” and then diabetes is abrupt, and the diabetes explanation does not clearly connect to the preceding point. Some references, such as “these” in the discussion of pictures and advertisements, could be more explicit. Grouping related points and explaining their links would make cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “processed,” “consumption,” “self-control,” “framework,” and “assurance.” These choices show an effort to discuss health and policy beyond basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “sugar update” for sugar intake, “fetal diseases” where the intended meaning is unclear, “genetical patterns,” and “price fluctuations” as a consequence of raising prices. There are also misspellings such as “suagr,” “dibates,” “encouge,” and “voilation.” Aim for precise, familiar collocations before using more ambitious vocabulary, and proofread carefully so that errors do not obscure your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex forms, including a concession in “Although… I completely disagree” and a relative clause in “which only leads to price fluctuations.” This shows some range, and the main argument remains understandable. However, some sentence structures and grammatical forms are inaccurate. For example, “The health issues… item has become” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “there are number” and “There must be needs” show difficulties with articles and sentence construction. The opening “Although” clause is also punctuated as a separate sentence fragment. Work on agreement, articles, and complete clause structure, and check punctuation around subordinate clauses. Greater control of these patterns would make your complex sentences clearer and more reliable.

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