Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, whataever you eat have high level sugar which may lead to serious health issue. Some people argue that this sygary products should be expensive so people will consume less sugar. I agree with this this statement because it cause serious health problems.

One major reason, of this sugary products to make expensive because it may lead to obesity. People wanted easy, tasty and cheap meals without any efforts This meals are easy to have it everyday, but they cause serious issue. For instance, one my co-worker works a lot everyday. She gets tiered and she dont wanted to work again in kitchen. So, she microwave the frozen meal then eat and sleep. This becoming her everyday routine and now she have serioous health issue called obesity.

Another reason, to make sugary products expensive is because they do fake advertisements. People buy the stuff from the advertisement, reviews and feedback. Company says this items have 12gram protien good for healt but they never mentioned how much sugar they have in that product. For instance, My friend used to drink zero sugar energy drinks. For few days it work like as energentic drinks but late it becomes addiction.Which, really affect the physical and mental health problems.

So, if the sugary product become expensive there will only few rich people can afford that. So, at the end company might stops making this high collestrol or sugary products.

In conclusion, I agree that this products should be become expensive or banned. Because this sugar production companies playing with people's health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant points about obesity and advertising. The example of your co-worker helps illustrate how convenient food can become a routine, while the energy-drink example relates to health effects. However, the response only partly develops the task’s central proposal. The co-worker’s frozen meal is not clearly shown to be high in sugar, and the link between higher prices and reduced consumption is asserted rather than explained. The claim that only rich people would afford these products, followed by the suggestion that they should be banned, also introduces a different policy without explaining how it fits your argument. Develop the price-based reasoning and make each example directly support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas are generally grouped by topic, and signposts such as “One major reason,” “Another reason” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first example moves from a co-worker’s busy routine to obesity without explaining the sugar connection, while the second shifts from advertising to addiction and health effects. Some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, and references such as “this items” and “this” make it harder to identify exactly what is meant. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “obesity,” “advertisements,” “addiction” and “physical and mental health.” This gives the response enough topic-specific language to communicate its main points. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “sygary,” “tiered,” “protien,” “collestrol” and “energentic.” Phrases such as “serious health issue” and “easy, tasty and cheap meals” are also repeated or imprecise. Aim to use accurate, natural combinations such as “health problems,” “high-sugar products” and “convenience foods,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your reasoning clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a reason clause with “because” and a conditional idea beginning “if the sugary product become expensive.” However, control is weak: errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction. For example, “whatever you eat have” needs subject–verb agreement, “she dont wanted” has an incorrect auxiliary and verb form, and “now she have” should use the correct form of “have.” The opening also contains a repeated “this,” and punctuation is missing after “addiction,” creating a run-on connection. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences with carefully controlled clauses.

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