Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, several manufactured food and drink produced contain high amount of sugar, which causes many health problems. Some individuals believe that if the price of those products which, contain high aount of sugar should be increased that can encourage individuals to consume less sugar.However, I strongly agree with this perspective because sugar is the main cause of many deadly diseases overall .

One of the primary reasons, why sugar is suger is very harmfull for individuals body because sugar is the root cause of diseases like diabetes.Furthermore, sugar is also called slow poisson because it can destory human organs very slowly.If an office empoly consume those products which contain high amount of sugar face the problem of obasity bcause these products contain huge number of calories and office empoly do not burn their extra calories.Consequently its boay fat level increase which put stress on its heart and bones.

On the other hand,some people perspective is that increasing the price is not only the option.According to that people goverment also take part in it by indroducing new policy for factories like, government can set a amount of sugar used in products.Moreover, especially in those products which are produced for kids because the immune system of kids are very weak that's why suagr is more dandrous for kids.

In conslusion, I strongly believe that sugar is very harmfull substance which, is the root cause of many diseases. I believe that government should take action on those factories who many products that contain high amount of sugar.Moreover, increasing the of sugar is also a good idea for encourage individuals for conumeing less amount of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant reasons, including health risks and the possibility of government action. The discussion of obesity is the most developed point, as you explain how excess calories may affect people who do not burn them through activity. However, the response does not fully explain how higher prices would change purchasing behaviour, and the alternative of setting limits on sugar in products is introduced but not compared with your main proposal. Some claims, such as sugar being the “root cause” of many diseases, are broad and would benefit from qualification or a specific example. Develop these points with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning and support for your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs broadly group related ideas, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Consequently” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from diabetes to organ damage and then to an office worker’s weight without clearly connecting each claim. The contrast beginning “On the other hand” introduces a different policy but does not explain how it relates to your agreement with higher prices. Some transitions feel mechanical, and unclear references such as “that people” interrupt the flow. Use topic sentences and explicit links between each reason and your central argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “manufactured,” “immune system,” “calories” and “policy,” and some choices communicate the intended ideas. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the writing harder to understand, such as “slow poisson,” “obasity,” “dandrous” and “huge number of calories.” There are also awkward collocations, including “sugar is the main cause of many deadly diseases” and “increasing the of sugar,” which obscure your meaning. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “high-sugar products,” “increase the price” and “raise the risk of obesity.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms will make your argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea about increasing prices and a cause-and-effect sentence beginning “Consequently.” However, control of sentence structure is inconsistent, and some complex attempts are difficult to follow. For example, “Some individuals believe that if the price … should be increased that can encourage…” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “If an office empoly consume … face the problem” has problems with the subject and verb pattern. Agreement and articles also need attention, as in “the immune system of kids are” and “a amount.” Punctuation is sometimes missing or misplaced, particularly around sentence boundaries. Practise building complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

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