Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The department of health has raised an alarm to the manufacturing companies of food and drinks for using too much sugar. I strongly agree with proponents who believe that sugary products must be expensive.

Most people have been observed to be suffering from high blood sugar than before. According to critics this is due to high consumption of sugary foods. Some people worlwide have developed sucrose related ailments such as type two diabetes. In my country sweet products are very cheap and children are the targeted customers. Vendors would be seen outside school premises selling variety types of sweets and biscuits.

Consumers should be educated about the dangers associted with taking too much sugar. Most people take sugar in their coffee and tea. Worlwide sugar production is said to be profitable. This ca

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is clear in the opening: “I strongly agree” that sugary products should cost more. You also introduce relevant concerns, including diabetes and children buying sweets near schools. However, the response addresses the proposal only minimally: it does not explain how higher prices would reduce consumption, consider possible drawbacks, or develop its examples into a sustained argument. The final sentence, “This ca”, is unfinished, so an important point is left incomplete. The response is also 117 words below the required minimum, which substantially limits the opportunity to answer the question fully. To strengthen the response, explain the link between price and purchasing choices, support each main reason with a specific example, and complete the essay with a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it states a position, gives health and child-consumption examples, and begins another point about education and sugar production. This gives the reader some sense of topic grouping. However, the ideas do not progress into a complete argument, and the final paragraph stops abruptly at “This ca”, leaving the relationship between sugar production and the proposal unclear. Connections between points are also limited; for example, the discussion moves from diabetes to school vendors without explaining how this supports making products more expensive. Use clear topic sentences and link each example back to your position. A complete concluding paragraph would also help the essay feel organised rather than unfinished.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “high blood sugar”, “type two diabetes”, “consumption” and “targeted customers”. These terms help communicate the general subject, and the meaning is usually understandable. However, the range is limited, with repeated references to sugar and sugary products, and several spelling or word-choice errors reduce precision: “worlwide”, “associted” and “variety types” are examples. Some expressions are also awkward, such as “sucrose related ailments”; a more natural phrase would be “sugar-related health conditions”. Aim to use a wider set of accurate terms for pricing, consumer behaviour and public health, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You produce several understandable simple sentences, such as “Most people take sugar in their coffee and tea,” and attempt a more complex construction with “who believe that sugary products must be expensive.” This shows some ability to vary sentence forms. However, the range remains narrow, and there are errors in sentence construction and grammatical patterns. For example, “selling variety types of sweets” needs an article and a more suitable noun phrase, while “the manufacturing companies of food and drinks” is awkwardly structured. The final fragment, “This ca”, is incomplete and prevents the last idea from being expressed. Practise building complete complex sentences and check articles, plural forms and sentence endings before submitting.

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