Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, consuming sugar has become a growing concern for individuals health problems. Mostly manufactured food and drink items contain an extreme level of sugar, which led to numerous health issues. Sweets products must be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I strongly agree that taking sugar causes health issues due to it leads diabites, sugar type of diseases.

To begin with the drawcks of having sugary products. One key reason is

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

Your opening shows a clear general stance: “I strongly agree,” and you identify health problems as the main reason. However, the response does not develop this position or provide a relevant example, and it stops just as a supporting point is introduced (“One key reason is”). The task asks you to explain your reasons and support them; these parts are therefore addressed only minimally. The response also contains 66 words, which is 184 words below the 250-word minimum; 11 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To improve, explain how higher prices could reduce consumption, discuss a possible limitation or alternative, and support your points with specific examples before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory paragraph states your position, followed by “To begin with” to introduce a body point. This gives the reader a simple direction. However, the second paragraph ends after “One key reason is,” so there is no completed explanation, progression of ideas, or conclusion. The relationship between the opening statements is also somewhat repetitive, as the concern about sugar and health problems is expressed more than once without adding a new point. Develop each paragraph around one complete idea, use linking phrases to show cause and result, and finish with a conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “manufactured food and drink,” “health issues,” and “consume less sugar,” so the general subject is understandable. There is also an attempt to use more emphatic wording in “extreme level.” However, several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “drawcks,” “Sweets products,” and “diabites,” and “sugar type of diseases” does not express a clear meaning. These errors, together with the very limited range of developed ideas, restrict precision. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases—for example, “high sugar content,” “sugar-related illnesses,” and “reduce consumption”—and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes both simple statements and an attempt at a complex sentence: “Mostly manufactured food and drink items contain an extreme level of sugar, which led to numerous health issues.” This shows some effort to connect ideas, and the main position can be understood. However, control is inconsistent. In “individuals health problems,” the possessive form is missing; “which led” does not match the present-tense context; and “due to it leads” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. The fragment “To begin with the drawcks of having sugary products” is also not a complete sentence. Practise accurate cause-and-effect structures, such as “because it can lead to…,” and ensure each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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