Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, manufactured products are the basic need of any society. Packed products can casue some serious health problems especially those thing that contain a lot of sugar and manufactured products made costly to reduce their sales ratio so people are not able to purchase these things with ease.I have mixed opinion about that statement and i will explain both in the essay below.

On the one hand, i think that manufactured products should be expensive. Firstly, i think that selling sugary products with high rates are benifical for those people who buy sugary products without any resaon but for completing their habit. For example, one of my neighbour who was very fond of drinking cold drinks one day he drunk around 2 litre cold drink at a time and then his lungs was out of order and he died after 4 hours. Secoundly, keeping manufactured prices high leads eating natural products like fresh milk and home made vegetables.

On the other hand, manufactured products prices made high can cause many issues. To commence, some people can not afford current cost of manufactured products when we sale these products on high prices economic people whould not able to taste and smell drinks and sweets. Furthermore, it is tradation in some areas that serving guests with desserts when sugary are out of courage for normal people than their culture disturbs. Moreover, by keeping sugary products more expensive the economy of country and comapny sales rate aslo disturbs.

To conclude, there are some merits and demerits by increasing costs of manufactured products. I believe that it is we how we use the products and we should control on ourselves rather than increasing prices

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question and present a position, especially in the conclusion, where you argue that people should control their own consumption rather than rely on higher prices. You also give reasons on both sides, including encouraging natural foods and the possible effects on affordability and businesses. However, the position is not fully clear at the start: “I have mixed opinion” suggests neutrality, while the conclusion leans against price increases. Some support is also unclear or insufficiently relevant. The story about a neighbour dying after drinking a large amount of soft drink is dramatic but does not establish the general effects of price policy. Make your view consistent from the introduction and develop fewer, more directly relevant reasons with clearer explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the argument. Within paragraphs, you also use sequencing markers such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Furthermore.” However, some links feel mechanical, and the progression between claims is not always clear. For example, the move from high prices to “fresh milk and home made vegetables” needs an explanation of how price changes would encourage these choices. The point about cultural dessert-serving customs is also difficult to connect to the central argument. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “health problems,” “natural products,” “afford,” and “economy,” and the reader can generally identify your main points. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand. Phrases such as “sales ratio,” “economic people,” “out of courage,” and “the economy of country and company sales rate aslo disturbs” do not express the intended ideas clearly. Spelling errors, including “casue,” “benifical,” and “tradation,” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of topic-specific expressions and check whether each phrase is natural in context; for example, use “low-income households” for people who cannot afford products and “reduce consumption” for the intended effect of higher prices.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer sentences, and the essay’s main meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences, and errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “one of my neighbour who was very fond…” has problems with number and clause structure, while “when we sale these products on high prices economic people whould not able” lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also recurring issues with subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms, as in “his lungs was” and “the economy … disturbs.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check agreement and tense before adding further detail.

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