Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

High level of sugar is causing alot of diseases now a days. Many food and drinks are contained high level of sugar which leads to dangerous health issues. if the sugary products qre become high rates and expensive then it might be a reason to make the use of sugar less.

By increasing the prices of sugary products like cold drinks and sweet candies,chocolates the people will avoid to buy it. Atleast some ratio of purchasing such sweer items will be declined. For example, now-a-days the children are consuming so much sugary drinks in the form of soft drinks, preserved drniks, juices, chocolates , cookies, candies etc. by this uses the tooth of children are getting rotten and cause the dental issues.

Apart from children, the young ones are addicted to suagry products by this they are becoming diabetic patient before the time. if the prices of such products re increased to a great range then middle class and poor class society will reduce the purchase of such things. by this they can use healthy things like fresh juices

most of the old age people are diabetic patient by consuming such sugary items they did not balance their sugar level which kead to heart attack type issues. by intaking more sugar the bones become weak.

the sumup is that the sugary products are highly dangerous for health to every age of people. for reducing the amount of purchase of such sugary products, government should increase the rates of sugar containing products to a great range

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you support making sugary products more expensive, and you give relevant reasons involving children’s dental health, diabetes, and the effects on people with limited incomes. The examples of soft drinks, sweets, and children’s tooth decay help connect the argument to everyday life. However, the response addresses the issue only partially because it mainly repeats that higher prices will reduce purchases, without explaining how likely or effective this would be. Some health claims, such as sugar weakening bones, are asserted rather than supported, and the discussion of older people is not clearly linked to the proposed price increase. Develop fewer points with clearer explanation and a specific example of how pricing could change consumption.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: it introduces the issue, gives reasons in the body, and ends with a summary and recommendation. The examples are generally related to the main position. However, progression between ideas is uneven: the discussion moves from children to young people and then older people without clearly connecting each paragraph or showing how the argument develops. Linking phrases such as “Apart from children” and “the sumup” are attempted, but some connections are mechanical or unclear, and the final paragraph largely repeats the opening claim. Use distinct paragraphs for each main reason, make the relationship between examples explicit, and use referencing and transitions to guide the reader through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a limited but relevant set of topic vocabulary, including “sugary products,” “dental issues,” “diabetic,” and “prices.” This allows the reader to understand the general argument. However, vocabulary is repetitive, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the writing less clear, such as “sweer items,” “preserved drniks,” and “by intaking more sugar.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “high rates” and “a great range” when discussing prices. Aim to use more precise collocations and vary repeated terms: for example, refer to “sugar-rich foods and drinks,” “raise prices,” and “reduce consumption.” Careful proofreading would also prevent spelling errors from distracting the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a conditional idea about raising prices and reducing purchases. However, the range of structures is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “Many food and drinks are contained high level of sugar” has an incorrect passive construction, while “if the sugary products … become high rates” does not form a clear grammatical clause. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “the tooth of children are getting rotten” and the lower-case sentence beginning “if.” These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Practise accurate subject–verb patterns and build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.

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