Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is argue that most of manufactured food and drinks product have high percentage of sugar as a ingredient, that have many many negative effects on health and causes many problems. The rates of sugar products should increased to encourge people to use less. In view I partially agreed with this statement because it is good thing to use less sugar but it is important part of proper healthy food.

It is true that taking sugar in massive amount either by eating or drinking causes many health problems and serious diseases. But sugar is important for good health and if we naot take enough food it mau also causes many health problem. So, if we increased the rates of sugar product as result people should use less sugar problem because everyone not affords. For example, taking less sugar cause high blood pressure problem and pancreas problem.

On the other hand, taking sugar in high amount causes many healty problems. The main negative effect of this is the disease diabetes. As we known that the diabetes is very dangerous and serious disease that causes death in many cases. Diabetes is dangerous disease, it also cause many other bad effects on human body. It cause stomach problems and low blood pressure problems. For example, my grandfather had only diabetes problem before two yaerago but now he has many othr health problems.

Conclusion, it is good to take proper amountof sugar and don't take of high amount of sugar and instead of increasing rates we should reduce our habit of taking high sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic and give a partly clear position: you say you “partially agreed,” and you recognise both the health risks of excessive sugar and the value of consuming an appropriate amount. However, the position becomes difficult to follow because the essay does not clearly explain whether higher prices are an effective or fair way to reduce consumption. The point that some people “not affords” the products is asserted rather than developed, and the example about your grandfather illustrates diabetes-related health effects, not the impact of price increases. To strengthen the response, explain your reasons for agreeing or disagreeing with the proposed price policy and support each with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic essay structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” signals a shift, and “For example” introduces supporting details. However, the overall progression is unclear: the first body paragraph discusses sugar’s importance and affordability, while the second repeats the health risks already mentioned without clearly advancing the argument about prices. Some links are also difficult to interpret, particularly “So, if we increased the rates … as result people should use less sugar problem.” Plan each paragraph around one distinct reason, use linking phrases to show the relationship between ideas accurately, and make the conclusion directly reflect the position established in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “high percentage of sugar,” “health problems,” “diabetes,” and “blood pressure,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “many health problems,” “dangerous disease,” and “high amount.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “encourge,” “healty,” “yaerago,” and “rates of sugar product,” which can make parts of the argument harder to understand. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing pricing and health, and check spelling and natural word combinations. For example, distinguish between the price of sugary products and the amount of sugar they contain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause (“because it is good thing…”) and a conditional structure (“if we increased…”). However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “It is argue,” “products should increased,” and “if we naot take enough food it mau also causes,” where verb forms and agreement are not controlled. Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “as a ingredient” and “Conclusion, it is good to take…” Practise forming accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add clauses with “because,” “although,” and “if.” Check verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation when proofreading.

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