Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

i strongly aggreed the because manny products contains high sugar and they causes manny health problems like diabetes and also the digression problems skin diseases i recently visited to hospital for my routine checkup where i saw manny peoples were suffering from different diseases i asked from doctor then he told me that they. consume lot of drinks cola mrinda and also the energy drinks name sting etc its really bad for health aslo they advice me to stronly avoid such type of sugary thing to consume also never take any baked thing which contain to much sugar it will cause stomach issues such like dairea. bloating etc just eat fresh and from home which contain low oil and sugar they both things are not good for human health also they are really expensive to buy such type of dumb which never give you any benefits yeah you will go for dr if you eat of drink such type of sugary thing i believe its a waste of money and if someone will taking these thing he will found some major issues abouth their health never use to play with health alway be loyal with your health and if you will jot take these thing you will fell fresher and also never found any health issues any stomach issues we should tell everyone that never take sany sugary products and always eat healthy foods like vegetables fresh fruits etc

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position at the start by saying you strongly agree, and you give relevant health-related reasons, including diabetes and stomach problems. The hospital visit and the doctor’s advice provide an example connected to sugary drinks and foods. However, the response only partly develops the task: it focuses on health risks and does not explain how making sugary products more expensive would encourage people to consume less. The position is not supported with a developed explanation of price or consumer behaviour, and some claims are repeated rather than extended. The response is also 11 words below the required minimum. To strengthen it, explain the effect of higher prices and add a specific example, such as people choosing water instead of soft drinks when prices rise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a recognisable line of thought: you introduce agreement, describe health problems, give a hospital-related example, and end by recommending healthy foods. However, the response is presented as one long sequence with no paragraph breaks, so the main points are difficult to distinguish. Ideas often run together, particularly in the section beginning “i recently visited to hospital,” and links such as “also,” “and,” and “if” are repeated without clearly showing how each point relates to the next. The ending repeats the advice to avoid sugary products rather than drawing the argument together. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and example, and connect each idea with clear, varied transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “diabetes,” “energy drinks,” “sugary products,” “vegetables,” and “fresh fruits.” These words help communicate the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to follow, such as “digression problems,” “dumb,” and “sany sugary products.” Several expressions are also imprecise or informal, including “such type of dumb” and “play with health.” Aim for accurate topic-specific language and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases such as “digestive problems,” “soft drinks,” and “health risks” would make your ideas clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and consequences using clauses with “because,” “where,” “which,” and “if,” so there is some effort to connect ideas grammatically. However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and errors occur throughout. For example, “manny products contains” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “they causes” repeats this issue. The opening is difficult to parse, and long strings of clauses lack full stops, making relationships between ideas unclear. Articles, verb forms and sentence boundaries also need attention. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas accurately—for example, “Many products contain high levels of sugar, which can contribute to health problems.”

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