Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, several manufactured food and soft drink items hold high amount of sugar sweetness, which causes numerous health issues. Sugary products should be made more costly to motivate citizens to eat less sugar. From my perspective, I agree with the above statement as increasing the rates of sugar can put pressure on the individuals to find better healthy alternatives and moreover it can help citizen to adapt healthy lifestyle.

First and foremost, in todays time every soft drink like Coca Cola and food product like biscuits contain high levels of bad sweetners like sugar. Moreover, consuming sugar on the daily basis have high amount of health risks and can cause many health disease for example high sugar level in body, obesity and many more. However, it can be tackel by implementing some methods like increasing the price of sugars which will encourage people to consume less sugar and also they will keen to find other healthy alternatives. For example in 2020, citizens of Russia faced many health related issues which occured due to eating eccess amount of sugar. Therefore, the state raised the price of sugar and motivates its citizens to eat jaggery as a better healthy option.

Furthermore, by increasing the rates of sugar can seems to be a curse on citizens but indirectly it is a blessing for them as it can provide many befenits like making their lifestyle healthy and moreover consumption of less sugar can increase their life span and thier loved once too. The Times of India published an article last year that 68% diasease occur in human body is by eating sugar on the daily basis. So, it is very essential to eat less sweet and make our life healthy.

In conclusion, raising the price of sugar contains several benefits like citizens will tend to find better healthy options as well as it will assist them in making thier life style and life span better.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that higher prices can reduce sugar consumption and encourage healthier choices. You address both effects again in the conclusion, and the examples of soft drinks, biscuits and possible alternatives are relevant. This meets the task well overall. However, some support is not fully developed: the Russia example is presented as a specific event but its connection to higher prices and a change in consumption is not explained, and the claim that sugar causes “68%” of diseases needs clarification or qualification. To strengthen the response further, explain how price increases would affect purchasing, and develop the evidence rather than relying on broad claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The main progression—from health risks, to price increases, to healthier choices—is generally easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. At times, however, cohesion feels mechanical because several sentences begin with “Moreover” or “Therefore,” and some links do not show the precise relationship between ideas. For example, the Russia example is introduced as support but its details do not clearly establish the claimed outcome. Use a wider range of referencing and transitions, and make each example connect explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “health risks,” “alternatives,” “consumption” and “life span,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “implementing some methods.” However, the range and control are limited by noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems. Phrases such as “high amount of sugar sweetness,” “bad sweetners,” “curse on citizens” and “better healthy option” are unnatural or imprecise, while errors such as “eccess,” “diasease” and “thier” reduce accuracy. These choices sometimes make the reader pause, even though the main meaning remains understandable. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; precise phrasing will make your argument more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “as” and “by,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some sentence forms are controlled, such as “In conclusion, raising the price of sugar contains several benefits.” However, errors in agreement, verb forms and sentence construction recur. For example, “consuming sugar … have” should use a singular verb, and “by increasing the rates of sugar can seems” has an incomplete and faulty structure. The sentence beginning “The Times of India published an article” also needs a clearer grammatical link between its statistic and the conclusion drawn. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and building complete clauses, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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