Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many manufactured food and drink products contain Excessive amount of sugar , which can cause health related problems.These products should be expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I am completely agree with this beacuse if products are expensive people will avoid buying it.

The main reason for the higher price of sugar is that it will cosume less, a small amount of people can buy it because of its price.Therefor it will be used less and people who are addicted to sugar canot consume sugar. As a reuslt the effect of sugar on thier heath is decreased. For example a person have money and he wants to buy a drink if this drink is cheap.It will definatly buy it and drink it. As a result it will effect on his health.

Second main reson for higher prices is for companies. They are using sugar as a drug for people to boost their sales. If pricess are high thier sale will automatically droped and they are forced to add less sugar on their products.

In conclusion, peoples should avoid their own to consume less sugar and i am totally agree with the point to increase the prices of sugar beacuse of peoples health.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.5
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear position in the introduction—“I am completely agree” that prices should rise—and give two relevant reasons: consumers may buy less, and companies may reduce sugar to protect sales. However, the response addresses the issue only partially because these points are brief and not fully explained. The example about a person buying a cheap drink is hypothetical and does not show clearly how higher prices would change behaviour. The conclusion also shifts toward personal responsibility without developing that point. The response contains 196 words, so it is 54 words below the 250-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop each reason with a fuller explanation and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The sequence from consumer behaviour to companies is generally understandable, and phrases such as “The main reason” and “Second main reason” signal the paragraph topics. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and some links are unclear or repetitive. For example, the first body paragraph repeats the idea that sugar will be used less without clearly connecting the price increase to the health outcome. The example beginning “For example a person…” is awkwardly joined to the surrounding explanation. Use clearer sentence boundaries and develop each paragraph through a reason, explanation, and example; vary linking expressions rather than relying on basic sequencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “manufactured food and drink products,” “higher prices,” “add less sugar,” and “health.” This is enough to communicate the main argument, but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to follow. For instance, “the main reason for the higher price of sugar” does not precisely express your point about making sugary products more expensive, while “effect on his health is decreased” is unclear. Spelling errors such as “beacuse,” “thier,” and “reson” are also noticeable. Aim for more precise phrases such as “sugar-rich products,” “reduce consumption,” and “adverse health effects,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if products are expensive people will avoid buying it” and a sentence beginning “If prices are high…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns, agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “I am completely agree,” “a person have money,” and “they are forced to add less sugar on their products.” Several sentences also run together, as in “if this drink is cheap.It will…” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate conditional sentences, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, then proofread for missing spaces and punctuation.

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