Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sugar intake may increase overall fat content which inturn affects fitness in human beings. Since majority of edible products are manufactured with high sugar content, they are causing alarming heath issues. These products should be made expensive in order to reduce its consumption. In this essay, I strongly agree with the initiative to make sugary products costlier.

One of the main reasons in support to this development is obesity. As sugary products has eassy access, people are purchasing more than the average. This helps them to consume more sugar which is stored as fat in their bodies. This fat contribute in human's weight, as a result, they suffers from obesity. To clarify this, packed food and drinks contain more sugar which are mainly consumed by adults. This disturb their sugar content and increase cravings. If products are expensive then more people avoids them, which helps them to redue its consumption.

Another reason to reduce sugar content in diet of people is the risk of diseases associated with sugar intake, more sugar disturbs harmonal imbalance by focusing on certain cells in human body. For instance, increased blood sugar level results in diabeties. Further hormal imbalance may cause hypothyroid or hyperthyroid which effect overall well-being of a peson. Makes them inactive in their routine work which disturb their balance between work and life.

In conclusion, as sugar content in manufactured food and drink products is higher the benefits of making sugar expensive as to avoid its intake may help us to reduce obesity and decrease health issues. I firmly agree that government should take initiatives to increase wages on sugar products in order to limit its reach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I strongly agree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You give two relevant reasons, obesity and disease risk, and explain a possible chain from sugar consumption to weight gain. This meets the task’s main requirements. However, the support is uneven: the obesity paragraph offers a basic explanation, while the disease paragraph makes broad claims about hormonal imbalance and thyroid conditions without showing clearly how these are caused by sugary products. The example about packaged food is also general rather than specific. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with a more precise explanation or a concrete example, and address how higher prices would change purchasing habits rather than assuming that people would avoid these products.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from obesity to disease risk is easy to follow, and signposts such as “One of the main reasons,” “Another reason,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. Some connections within paragraphs are less secure, however. For example, “This disturb their sugar content” does not clearly refer to the preceding idea, and the sequence from hormonal imbalance to thyroid conditions and then work-life balance is difficult to follow. Linking phrases are also somewhat formulaic. Use clearer pronouns and explain the relationship between each claim so that cohesion feels more natural and the argument develops smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “sugar intake,” “obesity,” “blood sugar level,” and “overall well-being,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “hormonal imbalance” and “cravings.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make ideas unclear: “increase wages on sugar products” does not express the intended idea of raising prices, while “eassy,” “heath,” “diabeties,” and “peson” are misspelled. Phrases such as “disturbs harmonal imbalance” are also not natural combinations. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations, especially for health effects and pricing, before trying to use more complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If products are expensive then more people avoids them” and cause-and-effect clauses. This shows some range, and the main position is usually understandable. However, errors in agreement, sentence construction, and articles occur across the response. For example, “As sugary products has” should use a plural verb, and “This fat contribute” also needs subject–verb agreement. “Makes them inactive in their routine work” is a sentence fragment, while “Since majority of edible products” is missing an article. Some long sentences combine several claims without clear grammatical links. Review agreement and article use, and make sure every sentence has a complete main clause; then check punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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