Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In manufacturing of products like food and drink, large amount of sugar is being used which might causes serious health problems. The sugray products should be more expensive in future that encourage the people to consume them in less amount. This essay will agree with the given statement and also brief the causes and effects of sugar on health.

Food and drink products contains a large amount of sugar in manufacturing. Sugar is very harmful for the human health, factories should use it in a limited amount during making products. Likewise, people should also check the proportion of suger in ingredients. Otherwise, goverment should increase the prices of sugar containing product. As a result, people would consume them in limited range.

with my perspective, it is necessary to reduce the use of sugar in food and drinks to maintain a better health. However, high level of sugar lead the people to diabetes and then they must have to be careful and reduce the access of sugar in their daily drinks and food. For example, doctors adviced the diabetes patients, do not use wheat in their daily meal because it consumes a large amount of sugar. Similarly, goverment should decrease the supply of sugary products to market and ban its more use in manufacturing industries. Government should put limit on its existence in making product like food and drinks.

In conclusion, I totally agreed to the point of increasing the prices of sugar containing products in market, it will reduce the percentage of diabetes patients in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you mention health risks such as diabetes. You also offer related measures, including limiting sugar in manufacturing and restricting supply. However, the response only partly develops the central question of whether higher prices would reduce consumption. The explanation that people would consume less is asserted rather than supported with a clear mechanism or a relevant example. The wheat example is confusing and does not clearly demonstrate the effects of sugary manufactured products. To strengthen the response, explain how a price increase might change purchasing choices, acknowledge a possible drawback such as the effect on lower-income consumers, and use accurate, relevant examples to support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can generally follow your agreement with the proposal. Some linking expressions, such as “As a result” and “Similarly,” show attempts to connect ideas. However, progression is limited: the first body paragraph repeats the idea that sugar should be reduced, while the next shifts among diabetes, wheat, supply and manufacturing limits without clearly explaining their relationships. The conclusion repeats your position but does not draw together the main reasoning. Use each paragraph for one developed point, and make references explicit—for example, clarify what “its” refers to in “ban its more use.” This would make the organisation less repetitive and the connections more reliable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “proportion,” “diabetes” and “sugary products,” so the subject is clear. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make parts awkward or unclear. Examples include “consume them in less amount,” “reduce the access of sugar,” and “reduce the percentage of diabetes patients”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors such as “sugray,” “suger” and “goverment.” Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing prices, consumption and health, and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would help you communicate your argument with less effort for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional result in “As a result, people would consume them in limited range.” However, errors are frequent, and some complex constructions are faulty or difficult to follow. For example, “large amount of sugar is being used which might causes” has problems with articles and verb form, while “Food and drink products contains” has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence beginning “However, high level of sugar lead” also contains agreement errors and an unclear continuation. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries need consistent attention. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that each subject matches its verb and that each sentence expresses a complete idea.

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