Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Lot of processed foods and drinks having high amount of sugar which leads to different health issues, so some argue that sugary products ought to be more costly to motivate individuals to utilize less sugar while i completely agree with it because it can improve the health of society. In addition, burden on peoples pockets will decrease as people prefer fresh home made items instead of using processed ones.

First of all, if people utilize less sugary products, this can contribute to overall well-being because sugary food, and drinks effect brain development especially in children. Moreover, People really like these items although it can increase chances of diabeties, fatty liver, and viseral fat obesity. For instance, according to research in the UK children or individual who utilize more sugary food are less creative, productive and efficient than those who donot relly on these items. Hence, sugar can causes several heath problems in both children and adults.

Furthermore, if less sugar containing products use, it will be more budget friendly step for the common public as they will cook their meals at home instead of purchasing processed food because manufactured food is more costly than preparing food at home when the price of manuactured food will increase more it will encourage individuals to cook their meals at home. For example, company processed juice box is expensive than the fresh juice prepared at home. As a result, the public will save money despite the unnessesary expenditures.

In conclusion, many company prepared food and drink products contain considerable amount of sugar which is harmfull for health and even cause burden on the individuals on income, so sugary items should be more costly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that sugary products should cost more, and the conclusion returns to this view. You give two relevant reasons—health risks and the financial incentive to prepare food at home—and support them with examples such as children’s health and fresh juice. This addresses the task well. However, the health argument is more developed than the affordability argument, and the claim that sugar affects children’s brain development or makes them less creative is not explained or convincingly supported. The point about reducing the burden on people’s pockets is also not fully connected to the proposed price increase. To strengthen the response, explain the cause-and-effect links more carefully and use specific, credible examples for each main idea.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages, and the examples generally appear beside the points they support. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. In the second body paragraph, the long sentence beginning “if less sugar containing products use” combines several ideas, making the relationship between higher prices, home cooking, and saving money difficult to follow. “As a result” also introduces a conclusion that is not clearly established. Use shorter sentences and clearer references, and make each paragraph’s reasoning progress step by step.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “processed foods,” “overall well-being,” “diabetes,” and “manufactured food,” so the reader can understand the subject and your main points. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “visceral fat” and “unnecessary expenditures.” However, noticeable spelling errors and inaccurate word choices reduce precision: “diabeties,” “viseral,” “manuactured,” and “harmfull” are examples. Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “utilize less sugar,” “company processed juice box,” and “burden on individuals on income.” Aim for accurate spelling and natural collocations, and choose words that express the intended meaning directly rather than relying on repeated general terms such as “items” and “products.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if people utilize less sugary products” and a relative clause in “which leads to different health issues.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to follow. For example, “Lot of processed foods and drinks having high amount” lacks a finite verb and has article and agreement problems; “sugar can causes” has incorrect verb form; and “if less sugar containing products use” is an incomplete passive construction. The second body paragraph also contains a run-on sentence with several clauses. Practise complete sentence patterns, subject–verb agreement, articles, and passive forms, then divide long sentences so each clause is grammatically clear.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.