Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that excessive sugar consumption can have deleterious effects on human health. Some people believe that increasing the prices of sugary products can foster people to reduce their sugar intake and adopt healtier eating habits. I firmly agree with this view, as higher prices may discourage excessive consumption of manufactured food and drinks.

To commence with, consuming excessive amount of sugar will leads to several health problems. Intake excessive content of sugar can contribute to weight gain and increase the risk of obesity and type 2 diabetes. Additionally, a high concentration of sugar may result in tooth decay. These health complications may place an additional burden on healthcare services. furthermore, a high intake of sugary product can increase the risk of cardiovascular diseases, potentially leading to long-term health complications.

Furthermore, increasing the prices of sugary products may discourage people from purchasing them regularly. Moreover, consumers may switch to affordable and nutritious alternatives, such fresh fruits and water.For instance, families may reduce their spending on high sugar products and beverages if their prices rise, particularly when they are trying to manage household expenses.Consequently, this approach may encourage healthier eating habits and reduce sugar consumption.

In conclusion, sugar rich food and beverages can have detrimental effects on human health, increasing the risk of various health complications. I firmly believe that making these products more expensive discouraged their consumption and encourage individual to adopt healthier eating habits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you agree that higher prices could reduce sugar consumption. You address both the health risks and the proposed price measure, with relevant points such as obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, and switching to fruit and water. However, the two main arguments are not developed equally: the health effects are listed rather than explained, and the pricing argument would benefit from fuller discussion of how price changes influence different consumers or whether the policy has limitations. The response is also 13 words below the required minimum, so it does not fully meet the task’s length instruction. More explanation and a specific example would make the support more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct purposes, and a conclusion. Its progression from health consequences to the effect of higher prices is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “Consequently” help signal relationships between ideas. To strengthen cohesion further, avoid relying on several similar transition words and make the links between claims more explicit. For example, the health paragraph moves from tooth decay to healthcare costs and then cardiovascular disease without explaining how these points connect. There are also spacing and capitalization slips around “water.For instance” and “furthermore,” which interrupt the otherwise clear presentation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “deleterious effects,” “healthcare services,” “nutritious alternatives,” and “detrimental effects.” These choices show an attempt to use less common and appropriately formal language, and the meaning remains clear. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, however: “foster people to reduce” is not natural, and “high sugar products” would be clearer as “high-sugar products.” There are also spelling and form errors, including “healtier” and “sugar rich.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than adding formal-sounding words where a simpler phrase is more idiomatic. This would improve flexibility and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which causes many health problems” and a conditional example beginning “if their prices rise.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “consuming excessive amount of sugar will leads” has an article and verb-form problem, while “Intake excessive content of sugar” lacks a correct grammatical structure. In the conclusion, “making these products more expensive discouraged their consumption and encourage individual” contains inconsistent verb forms and number agreement. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and consistent tense, and proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied structures more effective.

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