Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Consuming high rates of sugar through man-made food and drink products can causes several health issues, so these products should be made more expensive to reduce sugar consumption. In my perspective making them more expensive is not a good development, because this can result in inflation and not solving health problems.

In recent years, many companies start manufacturing products, which contain huge amount of sugar and almost everyone bought it for taste and quick energy, which is not coming from the right sources, and government have to make some limits, rather than make it more expsensive and this can be done by serveral ways. For instance, in many european countries, government limit the usage of artificial sugar in their product to make it much safer rather than just price it up. This can be very postive in the way to improving the health conditions for everybody.

Furthermore, governement can promote the industries of natural products, rather than artificial products, which is harmful for our body. I believe social media is the major contributer to promote various unhealthy sugery products through advertisements, so government have to stop these kind of adverts and limits or ban the products, which contain enormous amount of sugar. For instance, government of Japan implemented the new rule related to these products which says that, every company have to show the exact of ingredients of the item like, how much sugar it contains and is it safe to drink for local individuals and consumers.

In conclusion, making unhealthy items more expensive is just going to effect the locals, and it will be profitable for many companies, government have to think better ideas rather make it more costly. Making items more expensive is not the solution, limiting it can effect the community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and you offer alternatives such as limiting sugar, promoting natural products, and restricting advertising. These points address the question and are relevant. The examples about European countries and Japan also show an effort to support your argument. However, the response does not fully explain why higher prices would cause inflation or why the proposed measures would be more effective. The Japan example focuses on ingredient disclosure, which informs consumers but does not directly demonstrate that sugar consumption or health problems would fall. To strengthen the argument, develop each reason with a clearer explanation and use examples that directly support your position. Your response already has a clear stance and relevant ideas, but some are not yet sufficiently extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting alternatives, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some sentences contain several ideas joined together, making the progression harder to follow—for example, the second paragraph moves from companies’ products to consumer motives, government limits, and European policy in one long sentence. References such as “these products” and “this” are not always precise, and the conclusion repeats the claim that making items more expensive is not a solution without adding a final implication. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make each paragraph’s main point explicit before supporting it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “health issues,” “artificial sugar,” “advertisements,” and “ingredients,” and you attempt more specific expressions such as “natural products” and “enormous amount of sugar.” This gives you enough range to communicate your main ideas, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the meaning less precise. Examples include “high rates of sugar,” “quick energy,” “price it up,” and “effect the locals.” Spelling errors such as “expsensive,” “serveral,” and “governement” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish between regulating ingredients, informing consumers, and restricting promotion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “rather than,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors occur across the response, particularly in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “can causes” should use the base form after “can,” while “many companies start manufacturing” and “government have to” do not maintain appropriate tense or agreement. The long sentence beginning “In recent years” also joins several clauses in a way that makes the structure difficult to control. There are some errors with articles and singular/plural forms as well. Build accuracy by checking each clause’s subject and verb, and divide sentences when they contain several separate claims.

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