Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Sugar Problems:Yes it is right that manufactured food and drink product contian high levrl sugar.It is unhealty and spread many diseases as well.It causes Diabtes,Blood pressure and many of other diseases. Il is unhealtyy for the childrens as well.And it is all so true most of the bakery products is sweets and most of the people likes sweets product most.But it does not means the product should be expensive. The people who have money can buy the product if they like the sweets as well.But it causes problems for the poor people because it is well knows everything is dangerous if it use out of limits.But sweet product can be used for many purpose as well.It can be used in medicine as well. And many sweet product can be used in industries as well.Most of sugar can obtian from sugar cane.It is the source of income for formers who sell their sugar cane to industrues as well.So, it is not a write way to stop peoples who eats more sweet product and do not care of their health as well.So, the company ,industres resturant who make sweet product can mention that in their product there is high sugar and low sugar.There should precautions for the people to aware this .People have must awarness about their health. They do not eats things which is dangerous for their health. It is a fact that industries do not stop of making sweet product it is the source of their income.So people needs to knows what is better for them and what is not .They need to avoid their childrens as well.This the life and it continuious as this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a recognisable position against making sugary products more expensive, and you include relevant points about affordability for poorer consumers, sugar-cane farmers, and the role of product information. However, the position is not consistently explained: the opening agrees that sugar causes health problems, but the response does not clearly distinguish this from disagreeing with the proposed price increase. Several points, such as sugar being used in medicine and industry, are mentioned without showing why they answer the question. To strengthen the response, state your position clearly at the start and develop two or three directly relevant reasons, explaining how each supports your view and using a specific example where possible.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response contains a sequence of related points, and linking expressions such as “But,” “So,” and “as well” show attempts to connect them. However, the ideas run together in one paragraph, with no clear progression from a position to supporting reasons and a conclusion. Repeated additions such as “as well” make the connections feel mechanical, while some links are unclear—for example, the move from affordability to sugar’s industrial uses. Organise the essay into paragraphs, each with one main purpose, and use topic sentences to guide the reader. Make the relationship between each example and your argument explicit, and finish with a concise restatement of your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “high sugar,” “diseases,” “source of income,” and “precautions,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or repetitive, such as “sweet product” and “many of other diseases.” Frequent spelling errors—including “unhealty,” “Diabtes,” and “industrues”—also make the writing harder to read. Aim to learn accurate topic-specific expressions and check spelling carefully. More precise wording, such as “sugar-sweetened products” or “health risks,” would help you express your ideas clearly without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences joined with words such as “because” and “that,” but the range of structures is limited and many sentences contain errors that can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “most of the people likes sweets product” has problems with subject–verb agreement and plural forms, while “People have must awarness” has an unclear word order. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “It causes Diabtes,Blood pressure.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using one clear subordinate clause. Check agreement, articles, plurals, and punctuation when editing.

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