Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many food company and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Other way sugary produts shuld be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Sugar craving are bad for health. It creates many problems for people. Spcially chiderns teenagers and seniors. When a teenager see a product in social media they like it and want to eat it.

Sugar products not cause health issues its also very expensive products. Those people who can not afford these type of products. It is not good for health its reduce obesity and diabetes. People choose healthier options like fruit and water. Higher prices can encourage people to reduce sugary products.

Low income families can not buy expensive products they face many difficulties. They are not comfortable. Their confidence level are low. They want to take it. but they can not afford these products. Higher prices can not change eating habits. Every person have to freedom to choose what they eat and drink. If a person choose healthy diet. He is very strong by mentally and physically. People buy these products they know their high prices. But they buy it because they like to eat sugar products. They know they are not good for health.

In my prospective, sugary product should be more expensive that not everyones but it. Its very harmfull for health. If they eat sugar they also know about their health issues. They know that if they eat more sugar it causes by diabetic patient. Government should try to promote diet and nutrition education through social media. And knowledge them about health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic and give a position that higher prices may reduce consumption, while also noting that price increases may not change habits and that education could help. However, these points are not developed into a clear, consistent argument: the response shifts between supporting higher prices and questioning their effectiveness, without explaining how you resolve that tension. Several claims, such as sugary products being expensive already or low-income families’ confidence being affected, are unclear or insufficiently connected to the question. The response is also 5 words below the 250-word minimum; 24 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop one clear position, explain each reason, and add a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some paragraphing, and the response moves from health effects to affordability and then to a concluding recommendation about education. However, the ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression, and connections between sentences are often unclear. For example, “It is not good for health its reduce obesity and diabetes” does not show how the ideas relate, while the discussion of low-income families’ confidence interrupts the argument about prices. Linking words such as “but” and “because” appear, but they do not reliably clarify the relationships between points. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, then explain and support it before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “health problems,” “obesity,” “diabetes,” “healthier options,” and “nutrition education.” This gives the reader some access to your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling problems make parts difficult to understand, such as “Sugar craving,” “Spcially chiderns,” and “In my prospective.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “sugary products should be more expensive that not everyones but it.” Aim to use accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and word forms. More precise expressions for effects, affordability, and consumer behaviour would help you explain your position clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses short, simple statements, with a few attempts to connect ideas using clauses, as in “When a teenager see a product in social media they like it and want to eat it.” However, frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “Sugar craving are bad,” “Every person have to freedom,” and “If a person choose healthy diet.” Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, such as “It is not good for health its reduce obesity and diabetes.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and article use, and separate complete ideas with full stops. Once simple sentences are reliable, add controlled complex structures.

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