Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There are many foods in the industry that contain sugars in high quanitiy, which is not ideal for people's health. We will discuss whether the prices of the sugary products should be increased to encourage people to reduce their consumption. In my opinion, consuming processed sugars is generally not good for people's health if consumed more than the limit; therefore, the prices of these products should be increased.

There are two types of sugar. Natural sugars found in fruits such as mangoes, bananas, and watermelons contain less harmful substances. These fruits provide various vitamins that are beneficial for the people's health. Whereas, processed sugars are quite the opposite. Consumption of these sugars more than the required amount can cause significant problems for people's health such as diabetes, inflammation, and weight gain. Another drawback of consuming high levels of sugar is that it can spike energy for a small period of time followed by a sudden drop, which can make people drowsy.

Although, these manufactured products can help people cannot afford to buy expensive foods. These products can help with filling as the sugars are calorie-densed. In a recent study, people who work in construction sites eat food that contains high levels of sugar for short burst of energies.

In conclusion, products containing high levels of sugar should be less exposed for the consumers by increasing its price. It can help with people's health and their fitness. Although, it can sometimes help people with energy boost; however, it is not healthy to consume for a longer period of time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you support raising prices because excess processed sugar can harm health, and the conclusion returns to this view. You also acknowledge a counterpoint—that sugary products may provide an inexpensive source of calories and quick energy—so the response addresses both sides of the question. The health effects, including diabetes and weight gain, are relevant, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. The construction-worker example is especially underdeveloped: it does not show why higher prices would still be justified or how the example supports your position. To strengthen the response, explain the link between price increases and reduced consumption, and develop the counterargument before responding to it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and its overall direction—from health risks to a counterpoint and then a recommendation—is understandable. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The paragraph beginning “Although” shifts abruptly to affordability and construction workers, without clearly connecting these points to the proposed price increase. Some linking is also mechanical or confusing: “Whereas” begins a fragment, and the final sentence combines “Although” with “however,” making the relationship between ideas unclear. Use complete transitions and make each paragraph develop one main point in a logical sequence. Clearer references to “these products” and a more explicit link between the example and your argument would also improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “processed sugars,” “vitamins,” “inflammation,” “weight gain” and “energy.” These choices make the main health argument clear, and you attempt more specific expressions such as “a sudden drop.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however, which limits precision: “sugars in high quanitiy,” “less exposed for the consumers,” and “calorie-densed” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There is also a spelling error in “quanitiy.” Aim for standard collocations such as “high levels of sugar,” “less accessible to consumers,” and “calorie-dense.” More precise vocabulary for pricing and consumption would help you explain the policy argument more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a conditional clause (“if consumed more than the limit”) and a relative clause (“which can make people drowsy”). Meaning is generally understandable, but some sentence structures and punctuation are inaccurate. “Whereas, processed sugars are quite the opposite” is not correctly joined to the preceding sentence, while “Although, these manufactured products can help people cannot afford…” lacks a grammatical connection between its clauses. The conclusion’s “Although…; however” construction also uses two contrasting markers together. Review clause boundaries, conjunctions and punctuation, and practise building complex sentences with a clear main clause. This would make your argument easier to follow while preserving the range you are attempting.

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