Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As we see that production of suger is increasing day by day and it is using in drink products and food items, it is also causing many health issues so we should step forward to stop its use in daily eating items. we should use another thing instead of suger. I don't think so that by expensing suger we will be abble to stop its use. No it is not possible by doing so.docters and discoverer should come farword and they have to discover another item which caan be used as suger. Because by expensing its price it will only effects poor people.poors will be highly effected by this change. if we talk about our health it is very dangerious so we should use its very little amount. we have to make ourself avoiding its use. there are many peoples in world which are fighting with diseases caused by suger. there we also see childern which are fighting for thier survival against suger. we should keep an eye on our children what they are eating. we should also aware of thier interesting food. If that food contain sugar incrediants we should ask them to avoid it. if i place a example of my uncle death he was also affected by suger.so we have to take sold steps to stop its use. by increasing its price it would not give us good results. so we should also make awerance to people. By doing so should get better results against suger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear position against raising prices, stating, “I don't think so that by expensing suger we will be abble to stop its use,” and you offer alternatives such as finding a substitute and educating families. However, the response only partially develops the task: it does not explain in detail why higher prices would fail to reduce consumption, nor does it consider the possible benefits of the proposed measure. The points about poor people, children, and your uncle are relevant, but they are asserted rather than explained or supported with specific detail. The example of your uncle’s death is also unclear in its connection to sugar. The response contains 249 words, one word below the required minimum. Develop a few central reasons more fully and address the opposing view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable line of thought: you oppose price increases, suggest alternatives, and end by recommending awareness. However, ideas are presented in one continuous paragraph, so the reader has little help distinguishing your main reasons or following their development. Linking words such as “Because,” “if we talk about,” and “so” are used repeatedly, sometimes creating abrupt or unclear connections—for example, “Because by expensing its price it will only effects poor people.” The shift from discussing poor people to health, children, and your uncle also feels sudden. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion. Within them, organise each point with a clear explanation and example, and use referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You communicate the main topic using basic vocabulary such as “health issues,” “poor people,” “diseases,” and “children,” but the range is limited and several choices or spellings make the message harder to read. “Expensing” is not the right word for making a product more expensive; use “raising the price” or “increasing its cost.” “Discoverer” and “another item which can be used as suger” could be expressed more naturally as “researchers” and “a sugar substitute.” There are also repeated misspellings, including “suger,” “dangerious,” and “awerance,” alongside repetitive use of “use” and “sugar.” Build a wider set of accurate terms for health policy and nutrition, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with attempts at longer structures that are often faulty. For example, “I don't think so that by expensing suger we will be abble to stop its use” has an awkward clause structure, while “it will only effects poor people” has an incorrect verb form. Other recurring problems include missing or incorrect articles and plurals, as in “if i place a example,” and sentence-boundary errors, such as “so.docters” and “so we should also make awerance to people.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate sentence patterns for giving reasons and examples, including “I do not think that… because…” and “For example, …”. Use full stops and capital letters consistently, then proofread for agreement and verb forms.

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