Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I agree on this statement yes it is true that sugary products are the so harmful for our health .sugar containing products,drink,food cause many health issues and serious health issues like when we eat more sugary products then our glucose level will increase and we must face many difficulty.I agree because i was saw in my family member who drink sugary products then he was suffered many health issues and after the 3 years he was died so this is most bad experience in front of my eyes.sugary products like cake,ice creams and other bakery products and also sugar containing cold drinks should be made more expensive because this the only method to stop the people to buy sugary products.If prices of sugary products will not be expensive then everyone can buy and eat and drink sugary products so government should must be increase the prices of sugar containing products.one year ago my freind sara was ate too much chocolates .she likes chocolate ,cake,ice creams then she bought high level of sugar containing products and now she is facing many health issues and now she realized and regret that it was not true but now has passed so no matters when the time is passed so now no benefit to regret .SO I think and also agree that sugar containing products should must be expensive so that everyone will buy and consume less sugary products.When the products will be cheaper so everyone will buy so the government must be ensured that sugary products should be expensive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant reasons by linking sugar consumption with health problems. The examples about a family member and your friend Sara also show an attempt to support your view with personal experience. However, the response addresses the issue only partially because the examples are not explained in a way that establishes how higher prices would reduce consumption, and the claim that price increases are “the only method” is asserted rather than justified. The discussion also repeats the same point about people buying cheaper products instead of developing it. To strengthen the response, explain the likely effect of price rises and consider a further reason or limitation, while keeping your position clear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response stays focused on your agreement, and words such as “because,” “so,” and “if” show an effort to connect reasons and results. However, ideas are not arranged coherently: the essay is presented as one long paragraph, and the family-member example, the general claim about prices, and Sara’s story run together without clear stages. Several points are repeated, especially that cheaper products are easier to buy and that prices should rise. Some links are also difficult to follow, as in “so no matters when the time is passed.” Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion. Organise each paragraph around one main idea and use clear references and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “sugary products,” “glucose level,” “health issues,” and “consume,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main argument. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly “sugary products” and “health issues,” and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “high level of sugar containing products” and “the most bad experience.” These choices sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. Aim to use more precise collocations and vary repeated terms—for example, refer to “sugar-rich foods and drinks” or “health complications.” Check spelling and word forms as well, including “friend” and “chocolate,” to make your meaning clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using “because,” “when,” and “if,” but control of these structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “I agree on this statement,” “when we eat more sugary products then our glucose level will increase,” and “my friend Sara was ate.” Verb forms and tense are often inaccurate, and sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent; the opening also runs several clauses together. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to past-tense forms, subject–verb agreement, articles, and full stops between complete ideas.

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