Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many manufactured company which product the high levels of sugar products such ass food and drink, which effects many health problem on individuals. The brands of the products which have heavy sugar, should be rise the prices to influence people to buy less sugar products. I firmly disagree with this point of view, because it will not persuade consumers to obtain such kind of products which have less sugar.

At start with, people are not stopping themselve to buy the alternate products which has less sugar. This is because people are addicted with the taste of product and focus on acquire just that stuff. For example, Coca-Cola which is popular all around the world and people just asking for such kind of drinks at first. Moreover, doctors are advicing the guadian or parent to give healthy stuff and containing less sugar. Because the effect of sugar containg product will show in the future which effect on children's health.

In addition, Government should have to enroll in this situation for introduce the law. In which manufacturers have to minimize the levels of sugar in the products which will be effect on the health of childrens. For instance, Latvia which made the law for the manufacture to produce such kind of products which is made by the natural things without invovling any artificial materials. However, the result is showing that children have less health problems and implements on the works well.

In conclusion, the manufacture company which is producing the product have to use less sugar in the product and the price of such kind of things have to be rise. I formly disagree with that bacause most of the consumers are the children and their parents pay for that things. So government should have to make a law for the manufactures to produce the less level of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall disagreement and offer relevant alternatives, especially reducing sugar in products and introducing government regulation. The discussion of children’s health and the Coca-Cola example also relates to the topic. However, the response only partly answers the central proposal about making sugary products more expensive: the claim that higher prices will not change buying habits is stated, but not explained or supported in enough detail. The Latvia example is difficult to assess because the specific law and its reported results are not clearly connected to reducing sugar. Develop the reasons behind your position and compare price increases with regulation more directly; this would make the argument more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “In addition” and “In conclusion” help show the intended sequence. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the point about consumers being attached to a product’s taste moves quickly to Coca-Cola, then to doctors’ advice without explaining the links. Some references are also difficult to follow, such as “the result” and “implements on the works well.” The conclusion repeats the government-law idea but introduces parents paying for children’s products without developing it. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main claim; rely less on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “manufacturers,” “consumers,” “levels of sugar,” “health problems” and “artificial materials,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main position. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, for example “acquire just that stuff,” “enroll in this situation” and “implements on the works well.” Repetition of “such kind of products” and “less sugar” also reduces precision. Spelling and word-form errors, including “advicing,” “containg” and “invovling,” are noticeable. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing pricing, consumption and regulation, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because,” “which” and “However.” Nevertheless, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Many manufactured company which product…” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “the prices…should be rise” has an incorrect verb form. There are also recurring problems with subject–verb agreement and plurals, as in “products which has” and “children’s health”/“childrens,” as well as incomplete sentences such as “Because the effect…”. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check verb forms, articles and punctuation.

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