Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Yes, I do agree with this statement of sugary products needs to be more expensive. More on the others impact later. I would want to start from me, sugar is the easiest to locate in all the households, my house was not any different. I have sugar exposure from the age where i didn't know the meaning of taste, slowly i got addicted to sugar and started consuming direct sugar if i was not able to access the sugary products. when I used to get my daily allowance from my dad, i used to run and buy any sugary product available. I'm 27 years old and i still find it very hard to quit sugar or any sugary product. The whole point of ranting about this was that its "addictive". Which i would not even wish for my enemy.

Few pointers for reasons it should be expensive:

1- Sugar is addictive.

2- Causes dental and physical damages

3- Kids become dependent

4- Heavy availability

Let me elaborate my points.

Sugar addiction is very silent but not easily treatetable ice cream, chocolates, biscuits, all the products creates a dopamaine release which is specific for sugar. It also cause dental and physical damages before we understand the adverse effect, cavity and obesity are 2 prominant factors for those who consume alot of sugar. Kids are becoming addicted, even before the know the meaning of the word, they wont stoop crying until we give them some sugary product to consume. There is high availabiliyty of sugary products in the market. The government should take a step forward and increase the prices of sugary product and have a mandatory warning sign to each product being sold out same like tobacco. Along with that government should also support the products which provides healthy substitutes for sugary products and make those accessable and cheaper than sugary products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant reasons involving addiction, health effects, children, and availability. The personal account of finding sugar difficult to quit makes the issue concrete, while the suggestions for warning labels and cheaper healthy alternatives add a practical dimension. However, several points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, you list dental damage and obesity but do not show how higher prices would reduce these harms, and the claim that children will not stop crying without sugary food needs more careful support. Develop the link between price increases and reduced consumption, and explain likely limitations or benefits, to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable overall sequence: personal experience, a list of reasons, and then further explanation with policy suggestions. This gives the reader a general sense of direction. However, the numbered list and the announcement “Let me elaborate my points” interrupt the flow and make the essay feel more like notes than a connected argument. The opening phrase “More on the others impact later” is unclear, and the final paragraph moves quickly from addiction to health, children, availability, and government action. Use focused body paragraphs, each developing one main reason, and connect them with clear transitions. Avoid repeating the same point in both the list and the prose; this would create smoother progression and clearer links between claims and recommendations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “addicted,” “adverse effect,” “cavity,” “obesity,” “availability,” and “healthy substitutes.” These choices help communicate your main concerns, and the personal example gives the language a direct, engaged tone. However, the range and control are uneven, with several inaccurate or informal expressions that weaken precision: “ranting” is too casual for an academic essay, “physical damages” is not a natural collocation, and “a dopamine release which is specific for sugar” is unclear. Spelling errors such as “prominant” and “accessable” also detract from accuracy. Choose more precise academic phrasing and check spelling and collocations carefully; for example, describe health consequences as “physical harm” or “health problems.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the sentence beginning “The government should take a step forward,” which combines several policy proposals. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, tense, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “I do agree with this statement of sugary products needs to be more expensive” has a faulty clause structure, while “all the products creates” has subject–verb disagreement. The long sentence beginning “Sugar addiction is very silent” also joins several ideas without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and separate related but distinct claims. More reliable control of these patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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