Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many packed foods and drinks contain high level of sugar, which can invite serious health problems. It is argued that sugary products should be made more expensive, so people can reduce its usage. I am totally agree with this point. This essay will discuss concequences regarding sugar usage by society.

To begin with, sugar being undividable part of life. Many people can not eat food without sugar and majority packaging foods and drinks have significant level of sugar and it lead to serious health problems such as diabetes, obesity and dental cavity. These all problem can controlled by taking healthy and nutrious food and daily exercise. Moreover, sometimes people are being sugar addicted and they cannot live without sugar consumption. Nowadays more and more children had sugar while taking outside food and cold drinks. All outside food manufacture are using sugar to add taste of their food. Sugary products also provide energy and this is the reason of beverages has high level of sugar and after drinking such drinks people feel temporary energetic. after a long period, people are being addicted and that harmful for health. Take for example, Childrens having refreshments after their schooling and sports activities and this habit can invite prediebetes in early age and children have to take medicine to control that disease and that also can become reson of other health problems.

On the other hand, The Government should take responsibility of public health. They should levied high tax on sugary products, so people will reduce their unless usage. Also, government should run health campaign to aware people regarding sugar related health problems. Moreover, the authorities should encourage people for having healthy food and regular exercise. People should do control on their childrens and themselves to having sugary products by checking products suger level

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant health examples, including diabetes, obesity and dental problems. You also suggest government taxes and health campaigns, so the response addresses the main question and offers practical measures. However, the central argument about higher prices is not fully developed: explain how increased costs might change purchasing habits, and consider whether this would affect all consumers equally. Much of the first body paragraph discusses sugar’s health effects and children’s habits rather than directly showing why price increases are effective. The ideas are relevant, but some are less fully explained or supported than others; developing the link between the proposed policy and reduced consumption would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about health effects and a final paragraph proposing government action. Connectors such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the progression is not always clear: the second paragraph moves from health problems to addiction, children’s habits, energy and a personal example without a clear sequence. “On the other hand” also suggests a contrast, although the final paragraph continues the argument for government intervention rather than presenting an opposing view. Some references, such as “these all problem” and “that harmful,” are unclear. Group related points and use more precise links between claims and examples to improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “high tax,” “sugar related health problems,” “obesity” and “regular exercise,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “temporary energetic” and “sugar addicted,” but these combinations are not natural in English. Spelling and word-form errors—including “concequences,” “nutrious,” “prediebetes” and “suger”—are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “packed foods” and “unless usage.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “packaged foods,” “feel temporarily energised” and “excessive consumption.” This would make your vocabulary more precise and easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “which can invite serious health problems” and a reason clause beginning “so people will reduce.” However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “sugar being undividable part of life” is a fragment, while “I am totally agree” has an incorrect verb form. Agreement and sentence construction are also problematic in “these all problem can controlled” and “this is the reason of beverages has high level of sugar.” Articles, plurals and punctuation need attention as well. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and tense before adding extra clauses. More accurate control of these patterns will make your ideas easier to understand.

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