Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that many processed food and drink products consist of high proportion of sugar, which causes many health issues. Products made by sugar should be more costly to encourage individuals to use less amount of sugar.

I strongly believe that sugary products are so harmful for human health. Products that contains sugar should be banned or made more expensive so that people can not purchase them widely. Sugary goods weakend the human body and make them lazy . Despite, the harmful effects of these products , people still buy them and use them broadly. Not only, but also individuals giving extensively these unhealthy products to their childerns like dairy , bakery items. For Example , in my neighbourhood there was a person, his age around 40 years old he was consuming sugary products widely then he was diagnosed with diabetes.

Moreever, if people are commonly using sugary products then the government should made some useful procuations to safe the lifes. They should increased the prices of the goods that contains sugar in high amount also they should spread some awareness on the televisions that will encourage people to consume sugar in less amount. In addition, they can do some talkshows related to this issue, there they can tell about the harmful effects ,causes, diseases. For Example, people use mobile phones more so the government should make a team regarding to this issue and they will take resposibilty to spread awareness of this issue by doing advertisements, or by giving special instructions to the influancers.

To conclude, the government should make sugary products expesive as well as they should also make people aware of the risks and prevent them to eating unhealthy food and drinks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support making sugary products more expensive, and you also suggest public-awareness campaigns. The response addresses the question and gives relevant support, including the example of a neighbour who developed diabetes. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, saying sugary goods “make them lazy” does not show how this effect relates to the proposed price increase, and the discussion of children being given dairy and bakery items is not clearly connected to the argument. The mobile-phone example also shifts attention away from sugar. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation of how higher prices could change purchasing habits and reduce health risks, while keeping examples directly relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The main position is easy to identify, and linking expressions such as “In addition” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Despite, the harmful effects” is not correctly integrated, while “Not only, but also” does not form a complete parallel construction. The second body paragraph also moves from price increases to television awareness and then to mobile-phone advertising without a clear progression. Organise each paragraph around one central point, use linking phrases only where they express the actual relationship, and make references such as “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “processed food,” “harmful effects,” “diabetes,” and “awareness,” so the reader can follow the general argument. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make the writing less natural. Phrases such as “use less amount of sugar,” “made by sugar,” and “spread some awareness on the televisions” are awkward or imprecise. There are also misspellings, including “weakend,” “childerns,” “Moreever,” and “influancers.” Aim to learn common topic collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you express the health and policy arguments without relying repeatedly on “sugary products” and “harmful.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if people are commonly using sugary products” and a result clause beginning “so that.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement and punctuation reduce accuracy. For example, “Products that contains sugar” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “the government should made” and “they should increased” use the wrong verb form after “should.” The sentence beginning “For Example, in my neighbourhood” is also awkwardly joined, and spaces before commas and full stops are inconsistent. Practise modal verb patterns (“should make,” “should increase”) and revise long sentences for clear clause boundaries.

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