Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays,Governments should be increase the rate of bakery products because it has lot of drawbacks on health to utilize these products that contains maximum sugar level. However,individuals will avoid to buy sweat products. Personally, I agree with this argue because it will reduce the chances of diseases for individuals and citizens will avoid to buy expensive products from bakery.

On the first hand, the individuals who are used bakery products regularly they have lot of disease. However, the most familier is sugar level issue because majority of individuals surrounded with this issue and used some tablet. Therefore, when the prices of thses products will increased,public will avoid to buy sugar containing products. For instance, mostly youngs are prefer to buy bakery products even they are mature but used regualarly. Consequently, mostly of them are become sugar patients and when they are aware by this news become stressful.

On the other hand, mostly individuals are not afford to buy bakery things will choose organic foods because thses foods are natural and filled with nutrients.However, when the rates of products become high then they will reject to buy these kind of things because they are not afford comfotabely. For instance,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“Personally, I agree”—and give relevant reasons, including reducing disease risk and the effect of higher prices on purchasing. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the reasons are brief, and the second body paragraph shifts toward people choosing “organic foods” without clearly explaining how this supports making sugary products more expensive. The example about young people and diabetes is also asserted rather than explained or supported. The response is 52 words below the required minimum, and it ends with an unfinished example (“For instance,”), leaving the argument incomplete. Develop each reason with a clear explanation and a complete, relevant example, and conclude by restating your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a stated position. You also use linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “For instance,” and “Consequently” to show relationships between ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow at times. For example, the first body paragraph moves from disease to tablets, then to prices and young people, without clearly connecting each point. “On the first hand” and “On the other hand” do not establish a clear contrast between the arguments, and “However” is used where the relationship is not always clear. The final paragraph stops mid-example. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, explain it in sequence, and finish with a brief conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “sugar level,” “diseases,” “organic foods,” and “nutrients,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. “Bakery products” is narrower than the task’s focus on manufactured sugary food and drink, while “sweat products” appears to be a misspelling of “sweet products.” Phrases such as “sugar patients” and “used some tablet” are not natural ways to express the intended ideas. Aim for precise terms such as “sugary products,” “people with diabetes,” and “take medication,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “even,” and the main position is generally understandable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “Governments should be increase” should be “Governments should increase,” and “products that contains” needs subject–verb agreement (“products that contain”). The sentence beginning “the individuals who are used bakery products regularly” is difficult to interpret because its clause structure and verb forms are faulty. There are also punctuation problems, such as missing spaces after commas and full stops. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences while checking agreement and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.