Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A higher level of sugar contains in many manufactrured food and drink products which is one of the reason for health issue. To encourage people to consume less sugar the price should higher for this kind of products. I strongly believe that becuase excess sugar intakes is one of the big reason for obesity and Diabetic type 2.

Consuming excess sugar can build a lot of health problem like excess weight gain and diabetic.The sugar is the biggest reason for Diabetic type 2 and it also contributes for over weight. For example the higher people are cosuming sugar the same way diabetic is increasing in people and it's hard for them to loose weight that's why the first solutions doctor gave us to decrease the sugar intake.Diabetic is one of the main illness which increase all your other health issue. For example a simple wound will heal in the diabetic paitent that the healthy people. That's why making them expensive is a way to help the human beings.

If the sugar contain products are expensive people will try to find alternatives for them. The alternatives will be healthy products like water. poeple have to choose water between them as it is cheaper. In this way people will start to build healthy foodhabits. In this way the sugar will decrease from their body and they will loose weight also the diabetic will be lower will the other illness will heal faster.

In conclusion, i strongly believe that it will be a wise decision to increase the price of the products which conatin sugar beacuse it will help people to lose weight and to fight against the diabetic type 2.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly support making sugary products more expensive, and you give relevant reasons involving obesity, type 2 diabetes, and healthier alternatives such as water. The example about wounds healing more slowly for people with diabetes also helps illustrate the health consequences. However, the argument is only partly developed. The claim that higher prices will lead people to choose healthier products is asserted rather than supported, and the discussion repeats the link between sugar, weight gain, and diabetes without explaining how a price increase would work in practice. Develop each main reason with clearer explanation or a specific example, and acknowledge a possible limitation, such as the effect on people with low incomes, to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and the main position remains consistent. The first body paragraph focuses on health effects, while the second considers alternatives, so the reader can follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive: the first paragraph returns several times to diabetes and weight, and the second repeats “In this way” while listing predicted benefits. Some links are also unclear, particularly “the higher people are cosuming sugar the same way diabetic is increasing.” Use more precise cause-and-effect connections and organise each paragraph around one distinct point, supported by explanation, rather than repeating the same outcome.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “health problem,” “alternatives,” “sugar intake,” and “type 2 diabetes,” so the central meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “the biggest reason for Diabetic type 2,” “build a lot of health problem,” and “fight against the diabetic” do not sound natural in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “manufactrured,” “becuase,” “cosuming,” and “paitent,” which reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of health and policy expressions, and check spelling and word forms carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences to explain causes and consequences, but the range is limited and complex constructions are often faulty. For example, “A higher level of sugar contains in many…” lacks a correct verb structure, while “the price should higher” is missing a verb form. Agreement and sentence construction are also problematic in “the first solutions doctor gave us” and “the diabetic will be lower will the other illness will heal faster.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation are inconsistent, as seen in “a lot of health problem” and the run-on sentence beginning “For example the higher people…”. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then connect them with controlled clauses using “because,” “if,” and “which.”

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