Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sugar is one of the root cause of many health issues. Presence of sugar in many products like food and drinks makes it very challenging to avoid in daily life. Many manufacturered food contain a high level of sugar which is very harmful for the health. Making sugary products expensive might be a good initiative but i don't agree that it is good solution in a long term.

Many individuals face health issues related to the sugar such as diabetes which is very common nowadays. It is easy to convince adult to avoid sugary products but children are one of the top consumer of sugary products like juices and candies. Many children shows signs of hyper actives if their sugar consumption is high. Increasing the prices of those product will bring chaos because children wouldn't understand it and will force their parents to buy them those products and it will cause more financial burden for parents.

One of my nephew who eats lots of chocolates and candies often complain about tooth aches. My sister has to take her to dentist almost every single month for treatment which

is also really expensive. Through which I realized it is also parent's responsibility not to introduce to their children to sugar in early age.

Instead of increasing prices of products, it is better that the government should encourage schools to introduce the awareness campaign which are designed specifically for kids to understand how harmful sugary products and their harmful impacts.

In my conclusion, I think it is a better idea to look for other alternative ways to aware people especially young people about the sugary product harmful ness rather than making sugary products expensive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and you offer alternatives such as parental responsibility and school awareness campaigns. The discussion of children, household costs and your nephew’s dental problems gives the response relevant support. This meets the task well, but the reasons are not equally developed. For example, the claim that higher prices would “bring chaos” and lead children to pressure parents is asserted rather than explained, and the health effects of sugar are mentioned without much detail. To strengthen the response, address the opposing argument directly—for instance, whether higher prices could reduce consumption—and explain why your proposed alternatives would work better. The position is clear, but fuller development and support are still needed for a more complete response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs discuss health, children and parental responsibility, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally follow a sensible order, and phrases such as “Instead of” help signal a contrast. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “Through which I realized” is a fragment and does not connect smoothly to the preceding example; “those product” also makes the reference less clear. The paragraph about your nephew could be linked more explicitly to your argument about prevention, while the final paragraph could summarise the main reasons rather than repeat the position alone. Use clearer transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “health issues,” “financial burden,” “awareness campaign” and “consumption.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and there is some attempt to use more specific language. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, word-form and spelling problems reduce precision: “manufacturered,” “hyper actives,” “harmful ness” and “alternative ways to aware people” are not natural forms. Repetition of “sugary products” and “harmful” also makes the writing less flexible. Aim to learn common collocations as complete phrases, such as “raise awareness of the health risks” and “high-sugar products,” and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would make your argument sound more accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if their sugar consumption is high” and a contrast introduced by “Instead of.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but some errors in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction remain. For example, “one of the root cause” needs a plural noun, “Many children shows” has subject–verb disagreement, and “it is also parent's responsibility” needs a possessive form and article. The sentence “Through which I realized…” is incomplete, while the long sentence about children and parents would benefit from clearer clause boundaries. Practise checking each sentence for a complete subject and verb, then review agreement and articles. Greater accuracy in these patterns would make the complex ideas easier to follow.

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