Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I totally disagree with this and I will discuss it in this essay.

Firstly, the high level of sugar contains very problem in health because the food and drink that everyone use they faces problem at the end. For instance the high level of sugar in food increase sugar level and if someone use to much sugar they cross the boarder line of sugar they face life time disease the Diabetes the faces issues the angry very quickly and their health goes down day by day.

Secondly, the so much use of sugar in drinks that everyone in this society offer anyone for drink with him but this is the problem that a person drink the product. For example the soft drink product I was listen from some scientists in one glass of soft drink the three spoon of sugar in it and many people drink two glass of soft drink.

On the other hand, the person who dont take sugar in his life they also face sometimes problem their sugar level was low and they faces problem theirwhole body start shiviring and their Blood pressure was low.

In conclusion, the limited amount of sugar use is good but taking to much is not good for health and it will take any person to the permanent disease and face problem in his life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear disagreement in the introduction, but the essay does not adequately answer the central question of whether making sugary products more expensive is an effective way to reduce consumption. Most of the discussion describes sugar’s health effects, rather than explaining why you oppose the proposed price increase or offering a convincing alternative. The point about low blood sugar is relevant to sugar intake generally, but its connection to product pricing is unclear. The conclusion says that limited sugar is good, which also makes your position less consistent. The response is 224 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 30 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop your position with relevant reasons and examples focused directly on the proposed measure.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, a counterpoint and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help signal movement between points. However, progression is difficult to follow within the body paragraphs: the first moves from sugar levels to diabetes and then to mood and general health without clear links, while the second shifts from offering drinks to a reported sugar quantity. Some references, such as “this is the problem,” do not clearly identify the idea being discussed. The conclusion also does not fully resolve the disagreement stated at the start. Organise each paragraph around one reason related to price, then explain and support that reason in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “high levels of sugar,” “soft drink,” “health problems,” and “permanent disease,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “problem,” “sugar,” and “face.” Some word combinations are unclear or unnatural, such as “cross the boarder line of sugar,” “the three spoon of sugar,” and “I was listen from some scientists.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to interpret. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check collocations: for example, describe blood sugar as “exceeding a healthy level,” and refer to “three teaspoons of sugar per glass.” This would make your explanations clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if someone use to much sugar…” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction often make ideas hard to follow. For example, “everyone use they faces problem” combines mismatched subject and verb forms, while “the food and drink … they faces problem” has unclear sentence structure. The long first body sentence also joins several ideas without effective punctuation. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check verb agreement and tense, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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