Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's world, many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health obstacle in individuals lifestyle. Meanwhile, many numerous nowadays are perffering without sugar soda and food which was to expensive hence they are purchasing and enjoy with less sugar. I partially agree with the given statement.

To begin with, in many urban communities today are available many variety of drinks and food which was tasty and declisouce residents try to eat more in their daily life. Consequently, drinks today which are the vital part of citizen lifeatyle due to after dinner they try to drinks.However, their are mainly high contain of sugar which make more sweets. Moreover, high levels of sugar which causes health problem, diabeties, namely in the Coca-cola, sting this products have more sugar. For instance, many compaines have initiate to add more sugar in their material to make more profite. As a result, food and drinks with more sugar also raising their weight rapidly and they are not completey comfortables.

On the other hand, in the market various type of drinks which are available and majority of young people they try to eat owing to they have to maintaine they weight properly. Furthermore, without sugar it is not tasty but it not affected problems and also assist with weight loss. In addition, many pupils drinks without sugar such as green tea, protein which facilitate their body powerful. For Example, many gym trainer today try to eat less sugar but it was to costly then also they drinks without sugar. Finally, very few consumer only in their daily life drinks and eat unhealthy food.

To conclude, adults in their respective liifestyle have to eat food and drinks but it containe less sugar thherefore it will not damage and also they both side perfect levels. On account of students don't have to purchase expensive protein item it also causes many serious heart attack are done only the experience has to take.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I partially agree”—and discuss sugar’s health effects as well as alternatives such as sugar-free drinks. However, the response does not clearly explain whether making sugary products more expensive would reduce consumption, which is the central proposal in the question. The claim that people choose sugar-free products because regular options are “too expensive” is difficult to follow, and the conclusion shifts to adults, students, and protein products without resolving your position. Examples such as Coca-Cola and green tea are relevant, but their connection to price and reduced sugar consumption needs explanation. Develop a clear argument about the proposed price increase and support each main point with a specific, logically explained example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise ideas into a familiar essay structure. However, the progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from food variety to after-dinner drinks, sugar content, company profits, and weight without clear links. Some connectors, including “Consequently,” “Moreover,” and “Finally,” do not make the relationship between ideas clear, and references such as “they” and “it” have uncertain meanings. The conclusion introduces points that have not been developed. Group related ideas together and use simpler, more precise transitions and references to make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “high levels of sugar,” “health problem,” “weight loss,” and “without sugar,” and you name examples such as Coca-Cola and green tea. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors sometimes strain understanding. Examples include “health obstacle,” “declisouce,” “perffering,” and “maintaine”; phrases such as “make more sweets” and “their body powerful” are also unclear or unnatural. These issues make it harder to understand some points, particularly in the conclusion. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and natural word combinations; for instance, use “health problems,” “sugar-free products,” and “maintain a healthy weight.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “which,” “because,” and “although”-type contrasts, and you use paragraph-level sentence variety. However, control is very weak: frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation can distort meaning. For example, “many urban communities today are available many variety” has an incorrect structure, while “their are mainly high contain of sugar” does not form a clear grammatical sentence. In “many pupils drinks,” the subject and verb do not agree, and several sentences run together, such as “they try to drinks.However.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time, checking agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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