Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A large number of food and drink products contain significant levels of sugar , it is hazardous for our health so that athourity ought be increase tax for increasing product price that will be discourage people to stay away from sugar . Im totally agree with the statement.

On the one hand , pakeged foods and drinks are highly sugary , it has impact on our health. increasing product price can be solution for ruduce suger consumetion , This is because individuals are likely to purchase good quality with cheap rate . As a result high priceing will not attract humans . consequently, people will overlook those kind of sugary products . Another reason is that , individuals try to be healthy now a days , so that if Athourity make social awareness about suger . people will be more coutious about what are they taking daily ; more over , individuals will try to eat home made food . For example , bodybuilders always avoid suger and they eat homemade food.

On the other hand , riseing products price can be ruduce companies sales rate. As a result , there will be chance to face financialy breakdown among company . Therefore , companies empolyeer rates will be decrease if they can not get their wages at proper time . So that company ought be manufactured healthy and sugar free products , as a result people will buy more pakeged food rather than make their own meal at home .This is because , most of the mankinds work outside also their weekday is full of work and busyness . For exmple in japan , people buy launch box from convenient store .

In conclusion , it is better to avoid sugary products and eat home made . Also company should be produce sugar free foods and drinks rather than increasing the sugary products .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You state a clear overall view—“Im totally agree”—and give relevant reasons, including the health effects of sugary products and the possibility that higher prices could reduce purchases. The example of bodybuilders avoiding sugar also supports the health point. However, the response only partly develops the central proposal: the discussion shifts to social awareness, homemade food, company sales and sugar-free products, without explaining in enough detail how a price increase would change consumers’ choices or address the financial concern. The conclusion also recommends avoiding sugary products and producing sugar-free alternatives, rather than clearly restating whether sugary products should be made more expensive. Develop fewer points with specific explanation and keep the position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting different considerations, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Therefore,” and “For example” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from price to product quality, then awareness and bodybuilders, while the second moves from company sales to wages and convenience-store meals. Some links are mechanical or do not clearly express the relationship between claims, and punctuation around connectors is inconsistent. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it step by step, and use clear references so readers can see how each example supports the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “significant levels,” “social awareness,” “financial breakdown,” and “sugar-free products.” These choices show an effort to discuss health, pricing and business effects. However, the usable range is limited, and frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations make parts of the message difficult to understand, such as “pakeged,” “ruduce suger consumetion,” and “company empolyeer rates.” Some expressions are also unnatural, including “purchase good quality with cheap rate” and “sales rate.” Build accuracy with common topic collocations before reaching for more complex phrasing: for example, “buy healthier food at a lower price” and “companies’ sales.” Proofread spelling and choose precise terms consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You try to use both simple statements and longer cause-and-effect sentences, for example, “As a result, there will be chance to face…” This shows an attempt to connect ideas in more complex structures. However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to follow. Examples include “it is hazardous for our health so that athourity ought be increase tax” and “company ought be manufactured.” The opening also joins two complete ideas with a comma, creating a faulty sentence boundary. Practise accurate patterns such as “the government should increase taxes” and “companies should manufacture,” then check each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb and appropriate punctuation.

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