Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In present times, a lot of food and drinks have saturated the market causing health related issues among people. These items are manufactured with approvals from food authorities but are becoming a cause of serious health issues which we shall discuss below.

It is evident that the consumption of sugary products have increased over the period of time with the growing population. However, it is quite ironic that with the increased scientific discoveries and awareness, people have started consuming sugary products even more. According to research these products are more popular among the younger generation which can have a lot of potential risks. The risks of consuming high sugar include obesity, diabetes, heart diseases, kidney problems, high estrogen, boosted stress levels, dental issues and the list goes on. In the long run, consumption of high sugar products which may seem harmless can cause serious damage to the body. The stats show that diabetes is becoming a common disease among young people and the consumption of high sugar level products are a main cause of it.

To stop people from consuming products rich in sugar, the government should put heavy taxes on the manufacturers producing them which may indirectly cause the prices to increase. This may impact the consumption of these products as they would cause a dent on the consumer's pocket especially on the ones who consume a high number of these products.

In conclusion, i would strongly agree with the statement in the question that products which contain high levels are sugar are causing health issues and should be made more expensive to discourage people from consuming them. This would also result in the consumers to shift towards natural sources of sugar such as fruits which provide numerous health benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant reasons, including health risks and the possibility that higher prices could reduce consumption. The conclusion also adds a related outcome—people may choose fruit instead. This meets the task well, but the support is uneven: the list of conditions (for example, “kidney problems” and “high estrogen”) is not explained or supported, and the claim that sugar is a main cause of diabetes is asserted rather than illustrated. The policy argument is also brief and focuses on taxing manufacturers without considering possible drawbacks or explaining how the price change would affect consumers. Developing one or two reasons with a concrete example would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to health effects, a proposed tax, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these main stages, and transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes loose: the second paragraph moves from population growth to scientific awareness, younger consumers, and a long list of health effects without clearly connecting each point. Phrases such as “which we shall discuss below” add little, while “the list goes on” is vague. The final paragraph repeats the position rather than synthesising the argument. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and organise each body paragraph around one developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “consumption,” “manufacturers,” “obesity,” “diabetes,” and “natural sources of sugar.” Some less common expressions are attempted, such as “a dent on the consumer’s pocket,” but the phrasing is not fully natural in this context. There are also imprecise or awkward choices: “food and drinks have saturated the market” does not clearly express that these products are widely available, and “high sugar level products” is an unnatural compound. Repetition of “products,” “consumption,” and “health issues” limits flexibility. Aim for precise collocations and vary repeated terms; this will make your argument sound more fluent and appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including a relative clause in “which may indirectly cause the prices to increase” and a conditional structure in “especially on the ones who consume…”. Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the consumption … have increased” needs subject–verb agreement (“has increased”), and “the consumption of high sugar level products are a main cause” has a singular subject followed by a plural verb. The conclusion contains “i” instead of “I,” and “result in the consumers to shift” uses an incorrect verb pattern; write “result in consumers shifting” or “lead consumers to shift.” Review agreement and verb complements, and proofread capitalization and punctuation.

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