Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people think that the artificial and packed food and sugary drinks should be banned or expensive. It is very harmful for their health and can be dangerous our upcoming generation. Sugar has a lot of calory and it regulate the fat among children. I fully agree with the statement and more discussion will be discussed in below paragraphes.

Nowadays, pupils love to drink sugary items like fanta, coca cola and more energy drinks which have a lot of calory. Street food is also very harmful for our health. It is also create health related issues. Refined oil and cheap products are used in markets which is very unhygiene. No one want to talk on this topic. Few individual can relate who are suffered from disease. It is rised by film celebrities who advertise these products and people are influence by them and buy it.

Companies and factory are making these products in bulk and the demand is also rised day by day. People do not prefer homemade juice because it is very time consuming and wealthy but it has benefits to their health. Government should have take some steps. They can increase the price of sugary drinks and manufactured food. The demand of these products also decreased and people also stop consuming drinks.

In Conclusion, it can be seen that the sugary drinks contain high level of calory and it create many health problems. The best and simple way of quiting drinks is rise the price of drinks and food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you fully agree that higher prices could reduce consumption, and you mention health risks, advertising, and government action. These points are relevant to the question. However, the response only partly develops the argument. For example, you say sugar causes health problems and that celebrities influence buyers, but you do not explain these effects in detail or give a specific example showing how a price increase would change people’s choices. The discussion of street food, refined oil, and homemade juice also moves beyond the central issue of sugary manufactured products without clearly linking each point to your position. Develop two or three relevant reasons with explanation and examples, and keep the focus on whether making sugary products more expensive is effective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraphs broadly group related ideas, and phrases such as “Nowadays” and “In Conclusion” signal movement through the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion shifts from pupils’ drinks to street food, hygiene, disease, and celebrity advertising without showing clearly how each point connects. Some linking is also repetitive or awkward, as in “It is also create health related issues” and “The demand of these products also decreased.” Use clearer topic sentences and explain the relationship between each supporting point. More precise referencing and a logical sequence—problem, cause, and proposed effect—would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “sugary drinks,” “health related issues,” “refined oil,” “demand,” and “advertise.” This gives the reader a basic sense of the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “regulate the fat,” “wealthy” when describing homemade juice, and “rise the price.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “calory,” “unhygiene,” and “paragraphe,” also reduce precision. Aim to use familiar vocabulary accurately before adding more ambitious terms. Learning collocations such as “high in calories,” “raise prices,” and “suffer from a disease” would help you express your ideas more naturally and clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including “It is rised by film celebrities who advertise these products and people are influence by them and buy it.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but control is limited: errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently and sometimes make meaning harder to understand. Examples include “it regulate the fat,” “It is also create,” “No one want,” and “Government should have take.” Some sentences also combine several ideas without clear punctuation or grammatical links. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb forms, then build longer sentences using reliable connectors. For instance, separate the advertising point into two sentences and make the cause-and-effect relationship explicit.

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