Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contempory era, most of the food and beverage contains higher sugar amounts which can cause serious health issues. Some people believe that raising the cost of such sweet product will reduce the consumer. From my perspective, I completely agree with this view because it can cause disease like diabetes and obesity, while raising the price can encourage public to spend less money in it and create awareness.

There are several products especially drinks like juice, energy drink, soda that contains higher proportion of sugar which will eventually lead to serious illness. Diabetes and obesity are most common issue gernrated by higher sugar consumption. Children likes sweet things so must of the kids drink are sugary to increase the business and selling it in cheaper price. When the children demand such drink parents doesnot think seriously and buy it for their children pleasure as the price is also affordable, whereas will be costly in future for their physical body. To illustrate, in the recent year many children are facing diseases created through sugary product in their early age.

Raising the cost can be great alternative to solve or minimize such issues. If such product price will be higher parents will think twice before purchasing it, it also make them aware why the cost gone up. For instance, increasing the cost of harmful substances like alcohol and cigeratte has significantly lower the customer. Therefore, every individual do not like to waste their hard earned money in such product that will impact their health in long run.

In conclusion, to mitigate the consumption of sugary product higher tax in food and drink that contains high percentage of sugar should be implemented.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that higher prices can reduce sugar consumption, and the conclusion reinforces this by recommending higher taxes. You address both the health risks and the proposed price increase, with relevant examples involving children’s drinks and parents’ purchasing decisions. The comparison with alcohol and cigarettes also supports your argument, although the claim that higher prices have significantly reduced customers is asserted rather than explained or evidenced. Some ideas are more developed than others: the effects on children are described in detail, while the broader claim that price increases create awareness receives little explanation. To strengthen the response, develop that point and make the link between taxation and reduced sugar consumption more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present health and pricing arguments, and a conclusion restates your recommendation. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “To illustrate,” “For instance,” and “Therefore” help signal examples and results. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the first body paragraph, “whereas will be costly in future” does not clearly identify what will be costly, and the shift from children’s preferences to parents’ decisions could be linked more smoothly. The conclusion also repeats the central proposal without drawing together the two main reasons. Use clearer referencing and vary how you connect cause, example, and consequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “health issues,” “sugar consumption,” “diabetes,” “obesity,” “affordable,” and “mitigate.” These choices make your main points understandable, and phrases such as “think twice before purchasing” communicate the intended effect of higher prices. However, noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors limit precision: “contempory,” “gern rated,” and “cigeratte” are misspelled, while “higher sugar amounts,” “sweet product,” and “reduce the consumer” are unnatural or unclear. Some key terms are also repeated, particularly “product” and “sugar.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common combinations such as “high sugar content,” “sugary products,” and “reduce consumption.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “If such product price will be higher parents will think twice” and a longer sentence explaining how parents respond to children’s requests. This shows an effort to express cause and consequence, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “drinks … that contains” needs plural agreement, “Children likes” has a subject–verb mismatch, and “parents doesnot think” has an incorrect verb form. The conditional sentence would be clearer as “If the price of these products were higher, parents would think twice.” Practise accurate agreement and conditional patterns, and use punctuation to separate clauses.

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