Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

People hold different views regarding eating items. In today's rapidly advancing world some people believe that many manufactured products like food or drinks which contain high level of sugar which may cause human health problem. That is why sugary products should be made more expensive. I firmly agree with this view that sugary products may cause many health problems that is why their cost should be larger that people do not buy.

On the one hand, there are several contaminated reasons that many industrial workers use abundant of sugar. Firstly, sugar make food items deligious and juicy. Moreover their taste of bakery things are very gorgeous. In addition, there are many reasons behind that why i agree

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear position—“I firmly agree”—and identify the general concern that sugar can cause health problems. However, the response only begins to address the question: it does not explain how higher prices would reduce consumption, develop the health argument, or provide a relevant example. The point that sugar makes food “delicious” and bakery products appealing is relevant background, but it is not connected to a developed reason for your position. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, so there is not enough explanation or support to address the task adequately. To improve, give two clear reasons, explain each with cause and effect, and include a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the topic and your opinion, followed by a paragraph beginning “On the one hand.” Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” show awareness of how to connect points. However, the ideas do not progress clearly. The paragraph ends with “there are many reasons behind that why i agree” without stating those reasons, and the opening repeats the same claim about health problems and price. “On the one hand” also suggests a contrasting point, but no corresponding other side is developed. Use separate paragraphs for your position and each supporting reason, and make each linking phrase accurately reflect the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “manufactured products,” “high level of sugar,” “health problem,” and “industrial workers.” This gives the reader a general sense of the subject. However, the range is limited, and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unclear: “contaminated reasons” does not express the intended meaning, “abundant of sugar” is not a natural phrase, and “deligious” appears to be a misspelling of “delicious.” “Juicy” and “gorgeous” are also imprecise descriptions of the appeal of bakery products. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases, such as “added sugar,” “sugar consumption,” “processed foods,” and “health risks,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “products … which contain high level of sugar” and a reason clause beginning “That is why.” Some meaning remains understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent. For example, “sugar make” should use a singular verb, while “high level” needs an article or plural form. The opening sentence also joins several clauses with repeated “which” and “that is why,” making the structure difficult to follow. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including the lowercase “i” and the unfinished final sentence. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas using accurately controlled subordinate clauses.

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