Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, a lot of foods and drinks contain a large quantities of sugary ingreadients, which the main reason of many health problems. I totally agree with that these sugary products should be made more expensive to decrease the people's sugar intake.

One main reason why i agree with this opinion is that we need to reduce the number of obese people. This is becuase people who used to take much sugary products with high level of calories will be inactive over the time. furthermore, their productivity will be negatively affected. While if they found these products's price is so high, it can minimize their consumtion and make them loss weight. For example, when someone becomes fit, he will be able to do his daily activity properly and this make his mood always good, which will finally reflect on his productivity and raise the level of his live quality.

Another reason is that sugar is considered the root cause of many health problems in our society. Due to the high level of sugar in blood can lead to a harm consequences. For instance, hypertension and even heart attack could be directly related to sugar, these diseases are chronic so we must protect ourself from the main cuase of it. This further explains why I believe this view is correct.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that many of sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. This is because we need to prevent obesity and dangerous health problems, and therefore this view should be supported.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give two relevant reasons—reducing obesity and preventing health problems. However, the response addresses the task only partially because both reasons are developed in a limited way. The first paragraph moves from price to weight loss and productivity, but the link between higher prices and reduced consumption needs clearer explanation. The second names hypertension and heart attacks without explaining the connection or giving a specific supporting example. The conclusion repeats your position rather than adding support. The response is 237 words, so it is 13 words below the 250-word minimum; the 22 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs each focus on a relevant reason. You also use signposting such as “One main reason,” “Another reason” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first shifts from obesity to inactivity, productivity, mood and quality of life, while the connection between these points is not consistently made explicit. The second paragraph’s opening explanation is also awkwardly connected to its examples. Some linking phrases, including “This further explains why,” repeat the argument without advancing it. To improve, organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain its cause or effect and provide a directly relevant example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “sugary products,” “calories,” “obese,” “hypertension” and “chronic.” This shows some ability to discuss health and consumption. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response less clear, such as “take much sugary products,” “loss weight” and “level of his live quality.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “ingreadients,” “becuase,” “consumtion” and “cuase.” These errors sometimes distract the reader from your argument. Build a more precise set of phrases for describing consumption, health effects and price policies, and check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, using clauses with “because,” “while” and “which.” This gives the response some structural variety, but complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors can make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “a large quantities” has incorrect agreement, while “which the main reason” is missing a verb. The construction “Due to the high level of sugar in blood can lead to” is incomplete, and “these diseases are chronic so we must protect ourself” needs clearer punctuation and grammatical agreement. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals and verb forms. Practise building accurate sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical links are clear.

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