Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Yes, i strongly agreed the products containing high sugar level must be expensive so that it could be out of budget because sugar is silent killer. our kids or young generation is highly addictive of sweets because these are easily available everywhere in the form of chocolates,candies,carbonated drinks & juices which are highly hazardous for health.There are alot of cases in the hospitals. sugar should be replaced by natural sweetness like dates or shukar which also gives sweetness but not harmful for health.Actually i have experienced at my home , My elder son eats too much sweets like chocolates and day by day he was becoming so aggresive & hyperactive & then i have counceled by a doctor to overcome his chocolates he will be allright & i have seen the changes in his behavior clearly.So, according to my opinion sugary products should be expensive & also motivate the people to avoid it as much as u can because there is nothing important more than your health if you are healthy then you can achieve well in your life otherwise you will lose alot which makes you feel guilty later on . the kids below one year should be completely banned to use sugary products because it is more harmful for them because at tis age their immune level is very sensitive & could be hamed easily so they must have natural sweetness like dates.Diabetes is also increasing due to excessive use of artificial sugar and sugary products which needs serious attention.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you strongly support making sugary products more expensive, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You give relevant reasons, including children’s easy access to sweets, health risks and rising diabetes, and your account of seeking medical advice about your son provides a personal example. This covers the task well. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, the link between sweets and your son’s behaviour is presented as certain, and the proposal to ban sugary products for children under one is not connected clearly to the question of price. To strengthen the response, explain how higher prices would change purchasing habits and develop the health evidence more carefully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable progression from your opinion to examples and a concluding recommendation, and words such as “because,” “so” and “otherwise” show attempts to connect ideas. However, the whole answer is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader has little help distinguishing the main argument, personal example and conclusion. Several ideas are crowded together, particularly the account of your son and the later recommendations about infants and diabetes. Some links are also unclear, such as the move from the doctor’s advice to the claim that expensive products will motivate people. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main point with clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “high sugar level,” “carbonated drinks,” “hazardous for health,” “natural sweetness” and “Diabetes.” These choices make your subject clear, and “silent killer” conveys strong concern, although it is rather dramatic for an academic argument. The range is sufficient to communicate your view, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or informal, such as “out of budget,” “highly addictive of sweets” and “overcome his chocolates.” Spelling and word formation errors, including “aggresive,” “counceled” and “hamed,” also reduce precision. Aim for more standard academic phrasing and check spelling; this will make your ideas sound more controlled and credible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons and examples, so there is some variety in structure. The main message is generally understandable, but errors occur across verb forms, agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation. For example, “i strongly agreed” does not use the appropriate tense for your present opinion, while “There are alot of cases” is not properly separated from the preceding sentence. The long sentence beginning “Actually i have experienced at my home” combines several events without clear grammatical control, and “the kids below one year should be completely banned to use” has an unclear construction. Practise accurate present-tense statements and divide complex ideas into shorter, correctly punctuated sentences.

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