Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Numerous produced food and drink products it depends on high levels of sugar, which leads to many health issues while sugary products should be made more expensive to promote overall community to take less amount of sugar. In my opinion, i strongly agree and this essay i will support my opinion with some arguments nad relevant examples.

First of all, all the manufacured products such as foods and drinks all contain excessive amount of sugar. In every soft drinks and energy drinks you see nutritional labels how much sugar in this drink contains. For example, a person who consume a large amount of sugar on daily basis can lead to many health problems such as obesity, diabetes. Moreover the sugar products contains a lot of diseases for the person they should avoid all the products which has large amount of sugar. Moreover, if the prices are high less people will purchase the products and which will improve the public health. However, although i believe that price increase is the most best method to sugar consumption.

Secondly, some people argue that making sugary products expensive is not a solution for the problem because the wealthy people easily buy expenive products but it is unfair for the poor people because they will not buy expensive drinks and foods. Moreover, if the prices will high the addiction of the sugary product will not be finished at all. Instead of making prices high the government should focus on effective awareness of the sugary products on school and started diferent health compaigns and providing nutritional labels.

In conclusion, i belive that price should be high which is the best wat to reduce the sugary products and will improve the public health. Moreover, some

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear at the start: “I strongly agree,” and you give relevant reasons, including the possible public-health benefit of higher prices and the concern that this policy may affect poorer people unfairly. However, the response only partly develops the task. The first body paragraph repeats that sugary products cause health problems, while the second introduces awareness campaigns and labels without clearly explaining how these alternatives relate to your agreement with price increases. The conclusion is incomplete and ends with “Moreover, some,” so it does not fully summarise your argument. To strengthen the response, explain why higher prices would reduce consumption, support each main point with a specific example, and finish with a complete, consistent conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “First of all,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help identify the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from labels to health effects, then to avoiding products and prices, without clearly connecting these points. “Moreover” is repeated, and “However, although” introduces a contrast that is not completed or clearly linked to the argument. The second paragraph shifts from opposing the price rise to proposing campaigns, but the relationship between these ideas needs clearer explanation. Use fewer, more precise linking expressions and organise each paragraph around one main idea, developed in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “nutritional labels,” “obesity,” “diabetes,” “public health” and “addiction,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “produced food and drink products it depends on high levels of sugar” does not express the intended idea clearly, and “the sugar products contains a lot of diseases” is an unsuitable phrase. Spelling errors such as “manufacured,” “expenive” and “diferent” also affect clarity. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling, word forms and natural collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if the prices are high less people will purchase the products.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms can make the argument hard to understand. For example, “a person who consume … can lead to” has a mismatch between the subject and the verb and an unclear subject for “can lead”; “In every soft drinks” has incorrect number agreement; and “if the prices will high” is not a correctly formed conditional clause. The opening sentence is also difficult to parse because several clauses are joined without clear grammatical links. Practise building accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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