Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Manufactured food has become one of the major health concerns in modern days, either it is sugary products or some artificial factory made products. This is the main cause of increased cholesterol in young generation. The idea of making sugary products more expensive will not have a major effect on its consumption.

Starting with the addiction of sugary products and the billions of dollars of industries selling that to people for their own profits. Although, sugar tastes marvellous and gives brain a sense of happiness and a spike in dopamine thus this is the main reason why sugary products are much liked and consumed all over the world. Artificial manufactured sugary products contains high levels of sugar which is not even required for the human body so it directly goes in the fat store and increases cholesterol and body weight.

Adding to this, people have abandoned the naturally existing sweet products such as, fruits and are addicted to the artificial sugary items such as, cakes. In my opinion the idea of making sugary products would not have much effect because someone will always sell it cheaper in the industry of sweets because everyone is in constant competition with each other so even if one sells it expensive the other one will sell it cheap to increase its sales and if we somehow managed to sell all sugary products more expensive, they will never be so expensive that only a few could afford, that way the industries would not survive.

Summing that up, if we want to reduce the consumption of artificial manufactured products, we should spread awareness and educate people about the problems that come with this sweet illusion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that making sugary products more expensive would not substantially reduce consumption, and you propose education and awareness instead. You also explain relevant reasons, including consumers’ preference for sweet foods and competition between sellers. These points address the question, but some are not fully developed. For example, the claim that a competitor would simply sell products more cheaply needs support or qualification, since prices may also be affected by regulation or production costs. The health effects are mentioned, but the response could connect them more directly to why price increases would or would not change behaviour. Develop each main reason with a specific example or explanation to make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body develops reasons, and the final paragraph offers an alternative. Linking phrases such as “Adding to this” and “Summing that up” help signal progression. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the second body paragraph contains several ideas in one long sequence, making the relationship between addiction, health effects, and pricing less clear. The opening also introduces artificial factory-made products and cholesterol before the argument is fully established. Use clearer topic sentences and divide the pricing argument into more manageable steps. Referencing could also be more precise: in “selling that to people,” it is not immediately clear what “that” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “consumption,” “dopamine,” “competition,” and “spread awareness.” These choices allow you to discuss health, consumer behaviour, and industry. There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “sweet illusion,” although this is less precise for an academic argument. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or informal, including “increased cholesterol in young generation,” “fat store,” and “sell it cheap.” “Artificial manufactured” is also repetitive. Aim for precise, natural academic phrasing and avoid dramatic expressions where a direct explanation would be clearer. More accurate collocations would make your ideas sound more controlled without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional construction in “if we somehow managed to sell all sugary products more expensive.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “Artificial manufactured sugary products contains” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “Although, sugar tastes marvellous…” is an incomplete sentence because “although” introduces a dependent clause. The opening phrase “either it is sugary products” is also structurally unclear. Long sentences, particularly the final sentence of the third paragraph, make it harder to control punctuation and clause relationships. Check agreement, sentence completeness, and the structure of conditional sentences, and split lengthy sentences where needed.

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