Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some individuals belived that a loads of manufacturing things foods as well as drinks bear greater level of sugar that can infuence in health of people, sugary products will be manufacture with high rates and budgets for the less intake of sugar.i strongly believed with this statement.this essay will suggest that less absrption of sugar to create people with more healthy and becomes active instead of lazy.

firstly,the benefit of less consumption of sugary products will help to people to remain healthy.by managing ,individuals become healthy and enjoy their life with bigger variety.for instance:in china people consume less sugar to remain healthy and drink more normal water to increase their ages level.this could help in a vast level to remain normal and do their normal activities with great achievement.

another benefit of this is to remain active and sharp in every field of life.because less obesity means less weight or normal body functions.for example:according to one survey conducted in ireland, people become more active in their houseworks and jobs because they consume a little level of sugar in every dish of food.this is the criteria of their increase in age levels and become healthy at the age of above 60.

in conclusion,i firmly belive that consumption of less sugary products will remain to become a healthy survival and active in every day routine.overall,these two healthy advantages convert people life enjoyable and sharp .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“i strongly believed with this statement”—and give two relevant reasons: reducing sugar may support health and help people stay active. However, the response only partly addresses the central proposal: it does not explain how making sugary products more expensive would encourage people to consume less, or consider how price changes might affect different consumers. The examples about China and an Ireland survey are asserted rather than explained or connected convincingly to the argument. The conclusion repeats the benefits but does not develop the position further. The response is also 17 words below the required minimum, leaving limited space to explain and support your ideas. Develop the pricing argument directly and add specific, relevant support for each reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “firstly” and “another benefit,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify your two main points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links are mechanical or incomplete. For example, “because less obesity means less weight or normal body functions” does not clearly explain the preceding claim about being active. The examples are introduced with “for instance” and “for example,” but their relationship to the argument is not fully established. The conclusion also repeats earlier claims rather than drawing them together. Use clearer topic sentences, explain each example’s relevance, and connect the price increase to the expected change in consumption.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “consumption,” “obesity,” “active,” and “health,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations make meaning difficult to follow. Phrases such as “a loads of manufacturing things foods,” “increase their ages level,” and “healthy survival” are not natural or precise in this context. Spelling errors, including “belived,” “infuence,” and “absrption,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations. For instance, describe “reducing sugar intake” and explain that “higher prices may discourage purchases,” rather than relying on unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, such as “this could help in a vast level to remain normal and do their normal activities with great achievement.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation often make the message difficult to read. Examples include “i strongly believed with this statement,” “will be manufacture,” and “this is the criteria of their increase in age levels.” Several sentences also join ideas without a clear grammatical relationship, as in “another benefit of this is to remain active and sharp in every field of life.because…” Use complete sentences, check subject–verb forms and articles, and practise linking clauses with accurate structures. Careful punctuation and capitalisation will also improve readability.

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