Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that most of the health problems occur due to the usage of excessive sugar, which includes in the processed food and drinks and it should be avoidant by making these products unaffordable to consumers. I partially disagree with the view, because i think making the products expansive is not the only solution to this issue, we need to aware ourselves about how excessive sugar injuries to our health by training or social media, also sometimes our body needs sugar so we need to take balance amount of it.

On the one hand, excessive sugar can cause several health issues such as diabetes, disfunctionality of pancreas and some other problems in which person have to completely stop the intake of sugar in their daily life. Along with the high product cost, we need to make our people aware about their health issues cause with the highest intake of it. For instance, we have to arrange trainings and awareness sessions physically or online to create more awareness about the diet we take in our daily routine. As a result, people will be able to take the decision about their food intake.

On the other hand, sugary products can sometimes be helpful to balance sugar level when the person feels low during their daily tasks. For example, a person fainted because of low sugar level then some juices will help to recover their energy.

In conclusion, although excessive sugar can causes many health related problems, I believe its also necessary for our health if we take it in a balanced form. Making the product unaffordable not only the complete soultion for this issue we need to aware people about their health so they can take decision on their own.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You present a clear partial disagreement and address both the health risks of excessive sugar and the possibility that sugar can be useful in some circumstances. The discussion of awareness campaigns gives a relevant alternative to price increases, and the low-blood-sugar example supports your second point. However, the response does not fully examine the proposal itself: it would help to explain whether higher prices might reduce consumption and why this measure should or should not accompany education. The claim that sugary products can help someone with low blood sugar is relevant but needs qualification and fuller explanation, while the conclusion repeats your position rather than drawing the arguments together. Developing these points more evenly would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow, and examples are placed alongside the points they support. The progression is not always smooth, however. In the first body paragraph, the move from health consequences to product cost and then to awareness sessions could be linked more explicitly. Some connections are also repetitive, particularly the repeated references to awareness and people making decisions. Use a wider range of precise links between claims and examples, and make references such as “it” and “these products” unmistakable, to strengthen the flow further.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “excessive sugar,” “processed food and drinks,” “diabetes,” and “awareness sessions,” so the reader can understand the subject and your main points. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “balance sugar level.” However, several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument awkward or unclear: “disfunctionality of pancreas,” “injuries to our health,” and “complete soultion” do not express the intended ideas naturally. “Expansive” is also not the appropriate word for products that cost more. Spelling and word-form errors are noticeable. Build a reliable set of collocations for health, pricing, and public education, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a conditional example beginning “if we take it in a balanced form.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “which includes in the processed food and drinks” has an unclear clause structure, and “a person fainted because of low sugar level then some juices will help” joins ideas without a clear grammatical connection. There are also errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms, as in “excessive sugar can causes” and “we need to aware people.” Work on constructing complete clauses, matching subjects and verbs, and using articles consistently; then proofread punctuation in longer sentences.

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