Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, there are several problems particularly that relatied on health, whiche causes by several features such as the kind of food and drink.Therefore, governments should be made many sugary products more expensive in order to reduce the demand of them. I strongly agree with this view beacuse it helps people maintain their health and ecourage people to take care of thierconsumers.

One important reason to support this idea is that implement a high cost for suagary products are consumed less sugar. This is because if officials put strick rules about kind of food's souces , peolpe cannot pearchase them. For example, many products whom very expensive such as juices people might rely on buying nature fruits to make them at home to save money as well as stay healthy.Therefore,this is one reason why I believe that implement high costs is the main rule to reduce cosuming sugar.

Another importan factor is that governments should inform peolpe about different kind of many industry sources throughout read differenet ingrendients because there are many factories do not respect quantities and qualities.This can lead to avoiding unhealthy products in oeder to save their health. For instance, in today's world many factories try to imitate many products to being famous through adding a plenty of sugar. Many children are attracked by consuming them beacuse they find them sweety. As a result, i beleive that sugary products should be made more expensive in order to encourage individuals to avoid consuming them.

In conclusio, Ifirmely beleive that implement strick rules can assist public to pay attention why they eat and drink to stay healthy .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give two relevant reasons—reducing purchases and protecting health, particularly children’s health. The examples about making juice at home and children being attracted to sweet products help connect your points to the topic. However, the reasoning is only partly developed. The first paragraph focuses on strict rules and access rather than explaining how higher prices would reduce consumption, while the second shifts towards informing consumers and factory practices. Explain more directly how price increases affect buying choices, and develop each example with a clearer link to your argument. This would make the response address the question more fully and consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph introduces a separate reason, and phrases such as “One important reason” and “Another important factor” help signal the progression. However, connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from higher costs to strict rules and then to buying fruit, without clearly explaining each link. In the second, informing people about ingredients is not smoothly connected to making products more expensive. Some transitions, including “Therefore” and “As a result,” are used where the relationship between the ideas needs more explanation. Build clearer links within paragraphs and use referencing more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “sugary products,” “quantities and qualities,” “factories,” and “consuming,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more formal expressions such as “maintain their health.” However, the range is limited and errors in spelling, word form, and collocation are noticeable, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “relatied,” “suagary,” “peolpe,” “sweety,” and “a plenty of sugar.” Phrases such as “implement a high cost” and “different kind of many industry sources” are also unnatural or unclear. Work on accurate spelling and common collocations, and choose precise terms for the policy you are discussing, such as “increase prices” or “sugar tax.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if officials put…” and cause-and-effect clauses beginning “This is because.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently make the argument harder to understand. For example, “implement a high cost for sugary products are consumed less sugar” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “many factories do not respect quantities and qualities” does not express the intended relationship clearly. There are also run-on sentences and inconsistent spacing after full stops. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement and punctuation.

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